Just a Couple of My Favorite Dudes

This has been one long ass week. And it ain't over yet. I had class Tuesday night, professional development until 5 on Wednesday, and tonight (Thursday) I was at school for parent conferences until 8:00. Jesus....I still have to get my arse through tomorrow.

Tomorrow I have a meeting with my "Girls' Group." I look forward to this group. The kids are talkative, open, warm, funny, charming, and just plain enjoyable. It is a highlight of my week. I'm glad I do it twice a week. It ensures pleasant starts to at least two mornings a week.

Anyway, today at dismissal, one of the GREAT girls in my homeroom, C, dropped the contents of her folder all over the floor. We were all helping her gather her things. I came across pictures of an adorable young man, and she confirmed that it was her much-talked-about boyfriend.

The girls were talking about bringing pictures of cute boys to school for me to see. I then declared tomorrow's girls' group "Bring A Picture of a Cute Boy to Girls' Group" day. The kids are all excited. They all asked me if I was going to bring a picture of my husband. Ha! I guaranteed them they'll be treated to a picture of my "other husband" Jon Bon Jovi. They squealed with delight, so of course I'll have to bring a picture of JBJ to the group. I will skip the picture of Bill Clinton because although I love the bastard, I don't think he's cute. I just stumbled across this photo while I was looking for the perfect JBJ photo and thought it was kind of fun. So here it is.

I am prepping to see a bunch of photos of rappers and hip hop singers that I've never heard of tomorrow. But it will be fun.

The cutest thing is that tonight, one of my favorite parents, a single dad of an awesome daughter, K, came to see me. He comes to every open house, school event, and PTA. We talked about his delightful, peppy, spunky daughter. He was preparing to leave and then his daughter turned and said, "Oh, Ms. B., C is worried that she can't print a picture for tomorrow. Her printer is broken!" I jokingly told her that C could not come to group. She caught the joke and said she'd text her friend back and tell her it wasn't a problem. Dad, who hadn't said anything about this conversation finally chimed in with, "K, you can just print a picture for her tonight at home. What's the problem?" I laughed and asked Dad, "Do you know what this picture is for? It's not for a school project." He kind of sighed and said, "I know. I know all about it. It's 'bring-a-picture-of-a-cute-boy-to-girls'-group day.'" I told him not to feel compelled to allow his daughter to deplete his precious and expensive computer ink supply for this frivolity. He shrugged his shoulders and said, "I can either know that my daughter is printing pictures of Chris Brown from the centrally located printer in the living room, texting her friends and giggling about the fact that her teacher is letting them bring them to the group, or I could say no and she'd sneak off and do it somewhere else where she could get into god-knows-what trouble. The printer ink is a small price to pay for knowing my daughter is up to silly, goofy, 14 year-old antics right under my nose."

I guess he had a point, but what a cool ass dad.

Full Moon?

I'm not really one to follow the lunar cycle, but maybe I should. I can't even see the moon from where I'm sitting and I don't have the energy to move the three fee that it would require me to see it. All I'm saying is that it must be a full freakin' moon. If it isn't, I'm going to find out when the full moon is going to fall and make sure I take a personal day. I want to be as far away from school as possible on any day that they might be crazier than they were today.

I'm beat. No, I'm not just beat. I'm beat down.

The kids have been ridiculous lately. The behavior today was out of control. It has honestly been astounding. I NEVER send kids to the office for discipline. Well...maybe NEVER is too broad a term. I would say that RARELY is an apt descriptor of how often I send kids to the office for discipline. Between F (whose story I recounted on yesterday's post) and the three that I sent to the office today, I've reached a total of 4 kids to the office in two days.

It's not even worth recounting the things that they did to warrant the trips to the principal. If I started getting into the details here, I'd probably undo the benefits of the hot needle acupuncture I had this afternoon. Suffice it to say that the behavior has been BAD. It's not just silly ass kid stuff either. It's really BAD. I'll leave it at that.

I felt really bad, though, because at the end of the day, two lovely girls, D and K, came by to chat. They proceeded to tell me that they've had enough of being clumped together in groups with kids who purposely do stupid and hurtful things to other people. They're tired of being included in collective punishments. (The VP kept the entire 8th grade on a group detention yesterday after school....I do try to avoid these types of unfair group punishments, but sometimes they are effective. The worst part is that the threat of a group punishment is often lorded over a mass of kids in the hopes that the jerk/s who perpetrated whatever offense might feel guilty about seeing their classmates needlessly and unjustly punished and step forward to claim responsibility for their actions. Usually, though, if the kid was jerky enough to commit the original crime, he has no guilt about watching his classmates sink unfairly. That's the cruel irony of the entire thing). They are tired of having their things stolen and tampered with. They are tired of having spit balls hurled at their lunch trays by jackasses in their 8th grade class. They are upset about the fact that I have to lock the door when the class is out of the room, thus necessitating a situation where the entire group has to go to lockers, even if they don't need to get anything from their lockers. But they are fully understanding of the fact that I've been left with no choice, and they said they would do the same in my shoes. They are tired of losing class time for the overabundance of discipline issues that crop up on a daily basis. They're tired of being bullied and then called snitches if they try to stick up for themselves. They're tired of being walked all over by jerks.

When they were going through this catharsis, I felt really badly for them. It is easy for me to identify how the shit behavior inconveniences me, but I rarely stop to think about how it drives the other kids, the nice kids, crazy, too.

Here were these kids asking if I could implement the "100 points discipline chart" (never mind the details, just know that it is extremely restrictive and punitive) because they think it might shape things up.

When I told the kids that I was surprised, because the behavior has only seemed terrible in the past few days, they could barely contain their ironic laughter. They said that the minute the teachers are out of the picture, the bullies are at it in full force. They further confided that my 8th grade teaching colleague has little control over the kids and that things in his room are grim now and only getting worse. I guess that, as his mentor, I will have to find a way to gingerly address this issue.

And let me just say that when the conversation veered in the direction of kids talking about my colleague, I steered it immediately onto more neutral territory. I think it is totally uncool for one teacher to malign or otherwise talk unflatteringly about a colleague in front of kids. Big no no there.

But man....I am in desperate need of a day off. Something. I haven't felt this harried in teaching for quite some time now. It just seems that every little thing is blowing up and coming to a head at the same time. I'm used to putting out a few little fires and one big fire on a daily basis. That's my job. But there are no little fires here. Everything is volcanic proportion and I'm fighting just to keep up with things. Getting ahead isn't even in the question.

Man......

Calgon take me away.

It Goes Beyond the Pop Tart

It was a tough day at school today. My kids seem to be in a behavioral slump. I can't explain why, but they are.

Today we had "bus safety day." A bus company sent over a representative who was charged with the responsibility of meeting with students of each grade level, having them board the bus, and then discussing the basics of bus safety with them. The man who came to do the presentation loaded my 8th graders onto the bus, and then proceeded to read, in a barely audible voice, with the thickest accent I've ever heard, a series of rules. He had absolutely no voice inflection, and the poor guy butchered every single word he spoke. I was surprised and disappointed that my students, so many of whom have themselves struggled with English, were vicious in their reactions to this man. They laughed snorting, vicious, throaty laughs. It was terrible. The principal was sitting right there throughout the duration of the presentation. One student, F, was particularly obnoxious. The other teachers all have a history of having deep-seated conflict with F. But for some reason, I have been saved from having to deal with this behavior. Why? Because, according to F himself, he likes me. Simple as that. I have never been forced to deal with his infamous bad behavior. We have an understanding. And I like it that way.

The principal witnessed his atrocious behavior and pulled him aside to speak to him immediately following the presentation. She must not have lambasted him too firmly because he was back on our hallway within moments. But he was fuming. When I pulled him aside to calm him (which I usually am very successful at doing), he only grew more agitated. He accused me of having "snitched" on him to the principal. I may like to foster close relationships with the kids, but I have to draw a line when they become a little too familiar. I assured him that the principal needed zero help from me in noticing his outrageous behavior, and that I didn't appreciate the tone he had taken with me. With that, he blurted, "What the fuck do you want, Ms. B?"

The movement in the hallway (it was crazy locker time) froze as every student awaited my response. As cool as a cucumber, I answered, "I want for you to follow me right to the office. I don't need to listen to this, and you have no place in 8th grade today."

I then ushered this kid down to the principal.

Look...I get the whole hormone thing. I get that kids at this age are likely to be volatile, but I don't have to put up with being sworn at and to. The kids are always swearing at each other, or about something in general that has pissed them off. When that happens, I remind them that we're in school and we move on. But this kid swore AT me, which was absolutely not going to go down well.

Later, some kids in my homeroom noticed that there were a few packages of Pop Tarts that had been left over from a girls group that I run in the mornings. They were swarming around them, and I shooed them away. Before leaving for lunch, I noticed three wrapped packages of the things. When we returned from lunch, I was on locker duty for a moment while the kids trickled in and out of the room, back and forth between class and lockers. When I came back to the room, the kids were all acting strange. I immediately went to the freakin' pop tart bowl.

Empty.

I was pissed. I made every kid leave their backpack on the floor in my room, taking only what they needed for science class out of the room with them. It was my full intention to conduct a full backpack search following the upcoming class period, when my homeroom returned.

But fuck it.

When they returned, I mused aloud, "I didn't earn degrees at two of the country's finest and most prestigious educational institutions to have my career culminate in shaking down a bunch of backpacks for a miserably, lowly Pop Tart. If you stole it, you need it more than I do. But keep in mind that I'm not mad about a Pop Tart. I'm mad about being a theft victim. But you go ahead. You take that Pop Tart and eat it. When you're tucking into your sugary frosted sweet later today, just know that you're a lowlife and a thief."

Harsh? Probably? But fuck that. I explained that we were beyond the Pop Tart itself and that we were talking about simple, petty theft.

Damn....Christmas Vacation, are you here yet?

Waxing Nostalgic

So, today is Veterans' Day. I love the fact that we have the day off, but unlike most kind of too-distant-past-to-be-truly meaningful national holidays, this one is actually relevant and poignant in the here and now. It gives me pause when I think of all the people who have served this country, and of course, of those who are currently serving. Man...it must be hard to be over there (wherever "over there" happens to be to any given soldier).

I have a friend who is over in Iraq. She is the friend/neighbor of Jim, the guy who owns "the cabin" in NH. This young woman, Jill, enlisted about a year ago and was deployed to Iraq this summer. We have sent her a few letters and cards just to keep her up-to-date on the silly happenings at home, but more to just let her know that we're thinking of her.

She is only 19. Crazy, huh? I am not a religious person, but I do pray for her safety. She personalizes this war for me. I hope she comes home safe. SOON!

In my own silly little bubble not-directly-affected-by-war world, I had a nice day off. I got up early with Stephen and we went for coffee. (I'm forever doomed to be an early morning person, I'm afraid. The life of a teacher, as it were).

I had already had coffee, taken the bus to the gym, worked out for a couple of hours, and showered by 9:30 AM. I know...nuts.

I then tooled around for a while, stopping to pick up some dinner stuff at Trader Joe's. I love that dump.

I got a great Wax job at a salon in Brookline. It's funny because Brookline is so freakin' posh, but there are all these salons where you can get an awesome eyebrow wax job for like six bucks! So, I took advantage of that and had my brows "shaped." My brows are so freakin' puny to begin with that they are never actually "shaped" but rather just "cleaned up." Whatever...it needed done!

Ok, this is a lame post and I'm just procrastinating. I have lots to correct. But to my credit...I've done a heap of work today. Grades are due soon and they're actually computerized for the first time ever. How sexy!!

Just Stuff

Hi Y'all. I know my blogging has been totally sporadic. I wish I could seriously sit here and promise more frequent (or at least more regular) posts, but I won't commit to that. I'm sure it's a goal I won't be able to live up to.

I guess the best way to see if I'm blogging is to check in from time to time. Not that I am laboring under delusions of anybody sitting by their computers and holding their breath. I'm just saying.

I don't have much to say. Mostly I'm posting because the only other thing I really have pressing upon me at this point is a massive mountain (I was going to say "pile," but that would hardly do justice) of correcting to do. I've solemnly vowed to my students that I would have their work turned back to them by next Wednesday at the latest. If I want to meet that goal, I've got to devote serious time this weekend to getting that done. I was going to make a promise for Tuesday, but then I remembered that we have Veterans' Day, and so I gave myself until Wednesday. Yet another reason to be eternally grateful to our devoted and honorable Veterans.

First topic:

I wonder why I seem to invite negative comments from "Anonymous" from time to time. I could delete the comments, or password protect my blog I guess. I don't know how to do that, though, so I'll rule that option out. As far as the deleting the comments....why bother? I guess you could say that if it strikes me enough to write about it, that I'm somewhat bothered by it and should just delete them. Actually "bothered" would be a strong word. This is a silly blog. A silly PUBLIC blog, at that. Anybody out there can find it and read it, and I have the comment option activated, so I guess I'm leaving myself open to the critique. It just seems strange to me that people actually take the time to be personally insulting on what is clearly a silly, just-for-laughs blog. I could see if I were out there taking a Perez Hilton stance or if I were some official political blogger or something. But come on, people, it's just me. I have a silly arse blog about a hot dog stand and get bitched out. I post a happy, SILLY little post about Obama, and I get insulted. What's up with that?

Well, "Anonymous" I guess you've got me.

But hear me out. I'm not such a bad person. I found it amusing that somebody was selling hot dogs from the depths of a construction pit . I am happy that Obama got elected. I actually like the guy. Do these things add up to make me such a horrific, horrible, human being worthy of being reviled and insulted by you?

Some of these people leave comments that make me think they might actually be taking my pointless musings here seriously.

Actually, instead of being perplexed, maybe I should feel badly for "Anonymous." If he/she is taking my blog seriously, they must be inhabiting a very strange reality. How disconcerting.

Let's see what jerky-ass comment "Anonymous" leaves now, shall we?

Second Topic:

I feel like I have nothing to wear. It is the classic, full-closet-and-bursting-at-the-seams-closet-but-not-a-damned-thing-to-put-on syndrome. I feel like I'm wearing the same things over and over and over and over. You get the picture. My friend, Jenn, and I are going to conduct an Old Navy raid today. She's a big time Old Navy girl. I hardly ever get over there. I do have some jeans from there that I like a lot. And I've purchased a few things there from time to time. But I'm ready to take the plunge and really try to find some good stuff there. That place is pretty affordable, so I'm hoping to find some things I like. One of the problems with Old Navy can sometimes be that things are cut for girls that weigh about 800 pounds less than I do. I have also found them to be quite a strong offender on the bulging-side-pockets pants phenomenon. But I'm going to try to go in there with an open mind and get past my hang-ups. Fingers crossed.

Third Topic:

I tried acupuncture this week. I have a friend at the gym who is an acupuncturist, and she's giving me a good deal on the treatments. I am hoping I find it to be a fruitful pursuit.

Fourth Topic:

I am sick and tired of my freaking class at UMass. It really stinks. I have learned absolutely nothing. Nada. Zip. Zero. Zilch. Do you get the point? The lectures are pointless and directionless. The syllabus keeps changing and the assignment expectations are fuzzy at best. I never quite feel like I know what I'm doing or what I'm supposed to be doing. Quite annoying, really. I get sick of it. The professor also keeps up well beyond the 2.5 hour duration of the course, and she NEVER gives us a break. Jesus...I don't mind staying late if we at least had a break in the middle of the class. I REALLY like it when profs give the breka up to get us out early. But in this class, it is the worst of all worlds. No break AND we stay late!!

Fifth Topic:

Are you all members of Netflix? I would seriously recommend it!

Sixth Topic:

I am trying desperately to put a normal weekly gym schedule back together. Step aerobics classes, the mainstay of my workout regime, are slowly but surely coming off the schedule, only to be replaced with tons of spinning and yoga classes. Let me tell you how much I HATE Yoga. I can't stand that crap. And I'm crap at it. I am about as agile as a cement block. Maybe even less so. Give me a step bench to pound around on and I'm happy. I know the whole point of yoga is to keep practicing and getting better, but I can't be bothered to screw around with that garbage. I can't stand the whole yoga culture.
I hate spinning less passionately than I used to, but make no mistake...I still hate it. I should be more openminded, but honestly, unless I'm sweating my butt off in a step class, or doing some weight lifting work, I don't really have a great time working out. And then there's the treadmill. If I really can't deal with any of the classes on offer on a particular day, I hope on the treadmill for an hour. I try everything to make the time pass...TV, iPod, magazine...whatever. But none of it works. The time just drags by.

Seventh Topic:

Work has been hard.

Eighth Topic:

I'm desperate for a good book to read. I just finished Anthony Bourdain's first book, and I'm plowing quickly through his second opus, but I'm already looking forward to a couple of days from now when I won't have anything at the ready to read. Any good recommendations? I suppose I could read my course stuff for UMass, but why bother? I spent the 130 dollars on the course books and have not cracked them once. Why start now?

Ninth Topic:

Totally random, but I'll throw it out there...(I have 8 topics, so I might as well go for ten, right?)
If you're a salmon lover, try this super simple, but sublime recipe that I pirated from cooking light. It's so easy it's hardly a recipe, but whatever. Semantics.
Zest an orange, squeeze the orange's own juice on the zest, pour some soy sauce into the mixture. Marinate the salmon in that for 30 minutes and then cook at 350 degrees for 30 minutes or to whatever level of doneness you like for your Salmon. Freaking delicious.

Tenth Topic.

This business of it being full on pitch black night at 4:30 in the afternoon is truly depressing.

Peace out...

O Yeah!
O Baby!

Obama!

Rock the Vote, Baby!

Man...at long last. Election day is tomorrow. It seems that campaign "season" has been interminable, but at the same time, it's now hard to believe that tomorrow, we'll know who our next President is going to be.

I'm voting for Obama, but please note that I didn't put some crazy, ugly, unflattering photo of your boy (if he's your boy) McCain. Hey, he might not be my guy, but I respect the fact that he might be your guy.






I wish I could truly believe that every vote counts. But in this electoral collect joke system, that's just not true. We need to overhaul that noise.

In the meantime, I hope everybody gets their arse out to vote. It's important stuff, kids.