Saturday, November 26, 2005

Advocating for Authorization to Procreate



In this country, we let people operate multi-tun vehicles (or in the case of SUV's, the word "vehicle" should be replaced with "weapon") at the age of 16.
We allow people to elect government officials at the age of 18.
At the ripe old age of 21, we can legally begin a lifetime of damage to our poor, innocent livers in the form of overdoses of cheap hooch.
The government regulats, to some extent or the other, all of these activities. I am liberal. I'm all for a limited government and championing the cause of private domain, but still...there are some aspects of citizens' lives into which I feel the government has an obligation to intervene. Namely, the government, or at the very least some legislative body, should be able to determine whether people should be allowed to procreate.
I'm not talking about judging parenting ability based on looks, income level, job title, or ethnic background, or course. But I do think people should be required to meet some intelligence standard before having kids. Maybe we should put some regulations into place. Consider the following...
1. In order to procreate, you must have at least 12 healthy brain cells.
2. In order to procreate, you might want to demonstrate some understanding of the fact that children need supervision and positive role modeling.
3. If you do not meet the above qualifications, you must demonstrate sufficient funding to hire someboody else to assist you in raising your children.
What has me launching into the diatribe, you might ask? Well, I was out at the Meadow Glenn Mall today in Medford, MA. My mother and I took my niece there. While my mom was in the store, my niece asked me to take her over to some little merry-go-round ride. I took her over, but decided, after realizing that I would have to take three mortgages on the house I have not even bought yet in order to afford to start up the ride, that I would just let her clown around on the thing, but not actually start it up. There were several other little kids, and she was having a great time. Shortly after our arrival, a much older boy of about ten or eleven years of age approached the ride and started climbing all over it. I opened my wallet for a brief instant, only to have this kid's schnoz literally IN my wallet. I snapped it shut and told him to get lots. Several moments later, I felt a HAND IN MY PURSE! It was this kid. I tried to ask him whom he was there with, but he refused to answer. I thought he was just being a jerk. I became concerned that his presence would endanger other people. Who knows if he would hurt the kids (he was so much bigger than them), or attempt to steal from somebody less astute than I. (I watch Law and Order, you know!) I alerted mall security by phone. There was no adult anywhere near this kid. As I awaited the arrival of the mall rent-a-cops, I became aware of the fact that there was something wrong with the boy. It became obvious, the more I watched him, that the child was autistic. He was not responsive to verbal communication, and he was running, jumping, and making really loud/strange noises. He was also completely unphased by my telling him I was going to call security.
I immediately felt bad for the kid. I mean, here is this obviously impaired child left completely unsupervised in the shopping mall. It turned into a bit of a spectacle, really. The mall security people had the parents paged all over the mall, and eventually had to involve the Medford Police.
I didn't know what developed until I was leaving the mall. I saw the boy being lead away by some adult, presumably his father. The father was all smiles, walking the kid off into the sunset like nothing had transpired.
There are so many things wrong with this situation. Why did the kid's father leave him there in the first place? Why did it take so long for him to claim his kid? Why did the police not take more serious action? I mean, the kid was leaving with his dad. Wasn't there probable cause to pursue some kind of negligence charges against this idiot? Where is the kid going to be abandoned the next time? And, most chillingly of all, was the father even intending to get the kid at all, or was he just hoping to get away and leave the kid there?
This is what I'm talking about! Let's get some stiff procreation laws on the books!!!!!!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I agree 110%! You need a lisence to go fishing for Christ sakes, but not to have kids!