Ladies and Gentlemen, the simple truth of the matter is that I HATE the academy awards. I hate them for several reasons. Don't worry, I'll go into detail so as not to leave you in the dark.
Here are my reasons:
1. Fucking Jack Nicholson. I HATE that bastard. I mean, I really, really hate him. He is completely overrated and pompous, arrogant and jackassy. (yeah, I'm making up words now, what of it?) You might be asking why I associate Nicholson with the awards. Just stop and think about it. Watch the show for five minutes and you will realize that they pan in on this jerk in his front-row audience seat constantly. It drives me nuts. And he's always sitting there looking so smug. To top it all off, some idiot "star" has to get up there every year and feign humility in the face of receiving an award with the "amazing" Jack Nicholson looking on. It grows tiresome, really.
2. While I'm on the topic of feigned humility....
It drives me absolutely bonkers when the winner of whatever category (usually best actress, but it can be anything), has to get up and start weeping and pretending to be unworthy of even having been nominated in the same category as the other self-congratulatory asshole co-nominees. Usually its some young actress weeping over the fact that she could even be considered in the same category as some old broad like Judy Dench or some crap.
3. The acceptance speeches. Jesus, do these people even listen to themselves? Or are they contented with making us listen/suffer through their speeches?
4. The annual Cate Blanchett starring as the queen in some movie or the other. Seriously, that bitch is playing some queen (past, present, midieval, whatever) every single year.
5. Stupid host jokes.
6. The fact that the show takes 8 hours to complete.
7. The worst thing of all is the stupid lifetime acheivement award. They get some Hollywood denizen to stand up there and blow steam about some complete washup for hours on end. Then everybody stands up in thunderous applause, once again feigning humility in the presence of whatever boob is being honored.
8. The post-broadcast fashion wrap up shows.
CRAP!!
Gotts go watch the show so I have something to bitch about.
5 comments:
I hate these award shows too. I hate the idea that people who are paid such an outrageous amount of money, for the sole purpose of entertainmnet, feel like they need a special night to pat each other on the back for thier "courageous work". You are right about that Cate Blanchard beotch. She is always playing the same role over and over agian. I like how the American public is all obsessed with "who everyone is wearing". It's actually insulting to the intelligence of average American.
Yeah, right. I also forgot to mention that I HATE the musical interludes. Do they suck or what?
Sure, self congratulations are a bit on the annoying side...but don't you love the dresses? Especially the BAD dresses!
Did you ever see the Dave Chapelle "wrap it up" skit? I'll go look it up on You Tube for you.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=45LzDRmHrmg
RIGHT ON! It is the dumbest show EVER and I can't believe I even watch it at all.
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