Trading Places Jail Scene

Have you all seen "Trading Places"? If you haven't, get thee to a video store immediately. So touching and heartwarming for the holidays!!!

Thanksgiving Weekend

Its not really about the Turkey or the family gathering, is it?

Let's face it, Thanksgiving weekend is all about jockeying up for position in line at the stores with the must-have Christmas gift items on Black Friday.

Lauren and I were out at the shops early, early on Friday morning. Actually, she was out earlier than me, and swung by the house to pick me up at 6:00, AFTER she had already hit at least one store. She's always been the one to wake up the rooster, but she outdoes herself on Black Friday morning. To be honest, though, I can't blame her or any parent for taking advantage of the insane toy/kid stuff sales offered super early on black friday morning. I don't have kids, and there really isn't anything I need that desperately to buy at 6:00 on a holiday morning, but I still like to go along for the laughs.

And we had plenty of laughs.

Something that struck me as gross/funny this Black Friday was the fact that so many people at the mall just stunk to high heavens. I mean, I can understand that getting up that early is no joke, and that most people aren't going to go through an entire lengthy grooming ritual just to get to the mall for the early bird specials. But Christ, does it really take that much effort to run a toothbrush over your teeth and throw on a quick layer of deodorant? And how about a swift underwear change? My god, it was repugnant at several stores.

I also had to laugh at the people who think it's appropriate to walk at a good swift clip in one direction, all while they have their head turned squarely in the opposite direction. Usually these selfsame people have shopping carts so full of shit that they couldn't stop it even if they did care to look around and see some poor innocent soul standing in their path of destruction. Next year I'm bringing protective gear to buttress the many shopping carriages that will invariably make violent contact with one part of the other of my body.

And of course there are the charmers with the cell phones out, telling the cashier in the 100 person-long line, "Hang on. My sister/father/uncle/cousin wants me to run back and grab another one of those (insert inane item name here) for him/her. Can I just run back and grab another one? You can wait, right?"

Or I love the idiots who wait in a line similar to the one described above, only to pull out their checkbooks at the very last minute and inquiring as to whom the check should be made out, etc. Jesus, first of all, who pays by check anymore? And never mind that, but why wait until the last second when you've been standing in a line for 7 hours? Is it really necessary to make me wait for even longer than I already have in this godforsaken line?

And there are the people who use the shopping carriages as weapons. You see me walking toward the last of the item that we both want? Well, why not just run over my food with your gift-laden carriage in order to put me out of commission so that, by forced injury, you will get to the item before me?

But seriously, we had a good time. We trashed the dollar store where we were able to procure cheap-o wrapping paper. Of course all of the paper had characters like Shrek and Tinkerbell on it. I can see where Lauren's kids will appreciate it. I'm not sure how I'm going to explain it to my in-laws, who are bound to get their gifts wrapped in Sponge Bob Square Pants paper. Oh well, they'll get over it.





And now, I'm back to grading papers. Essays. The worst. I don't know why I left this until the last minute, but alas, I did.

I had better stop procrastinating here and get my arse to work.

Peace out, YO!

Some Things Never Change

Remember my pained missives about weeks on end spent with no heat in school? Well, we were laboring under the false delusion that this would be a thing of the past in a BRAND NEW BUILDING, but we were wrong. It started yesterday, with temperatures falling throughout the day. It only proved to be worse today when we were greeted by the principal on the way in with a message of, "Attention Staff, the heat is down. Please allow students to wear their outerwear in school today." And so it went. I never once took my jacket off all day long.

Same shit, different building.

Something to REALLY Be Thankful For!

So my back thing seems to be somewhat under control, but I'm still being cautious about it. I am done with my course of prednisone, but I'm still on my advil regimen. Fingers crossed that it clears up on me soon.

I am extremely thankful for the fact that I have a very short week coming up. Today is a regular day. I have all my classes and am expected to actually teach something of value to my students.

Tomorrow is also a regular day, but I have a nutritionist who is scheduled to speak to my classes every Tuesday for 6 weeks. (She's been there for 2 already, and has 4 to go.) She'll be there tomorrow, which is great. I basically have to sit there and do crowd control. This is another reason why teaching middle school rules. If I taught a lower grade, self-contained class, the woman would come in once for an hour and be done with it. However, since my kids all switch around classes, in order to make sure that she sees all of the 7th and 8th grade kids, the woman has to hit each and every one of my teaching periods. I know it sounds dead lazy of me, but I'm psyched!

And then Wednesday is a half day. I'm sure it won't be terribly productive, but the kids are usually in rare form before an extended weekend, so there will, once again, be lots of crowd control.

Thursday and Friday are of course, days off. Lauren and I will most likely hit the stores really early on Friday. Then, when I come home, I'll snooze the afternoon away!

Life is good!!!

What do Nants and Barry Bonds Have in Common?

Steriods.

That's what.

On Monday, Veterna's day, I was all happy to have a day off, and was planning on sitting in front of my computer to do some much overdue paperwork

I had my coffee, made some phone calls, and was just settling in to do the abovementioned paperwork.

All of a sudden, as I sat there, engaged in the widely-known-to-be-strenuous activity of reading my computer screen, a pain, the likes of which I'd never felt before, tore through my low back, from right side to left. It felt like somebody had taken a 12" dagger, jammed it into my back, and then just tore across the entire thing.

The pain literally took my breath away.

When I finally did recapture my breath, I think I released some kind of inhuman moan of agony.

And from there, you can guess the rest....

I lowered myself onto my heating pad on the floor (with alternating periods of time on the ice bag), propped my knees up, and called my back doctor.

I did make an appointment for Tuesday. The doctor things I tore my disc again, causing some of the disc fluid to spurt out and irritate (to put it mildly...her words, not mine), my nerves.

And so here I am, on day 5 of the 6 day prednisone treatment. I hate the steriod element of it, but damn, those things work!!

I'm already back at step aerobics (because the steroids are helping my foot too, so why not take advantage?) and lifting weights.

sometimes I wish my docs at the New England Baptist would tell me to relax, keep off my feet, rest. I guess it would just make me fell better about being lazy. But, when I ask them, always hopefully, if I should take it easy, they always look at me like I have five heads and say, "Stop exercising? What for? No...get right back in there."

And so it goes. I love my hospital and the fact that they are literally all about getting people back in motion, but Christ...a few days off never killed anybody, right?

Well...according to them it would.

Anyway, just thought I'd mention that I had yet another back episode But, I'm (fingers crossed) back on my hooves!

Crap TV

I am watching Dr. Phil right now. I can't believe I'm even admitting this. The fact that I'm watching the show is even more pathetic than the show itself.

There is some woman on the show who claims that she won't even speak to people who are ugly. This in and of itself would normally not bother me. However, the fact that this woman looks like a pig (literally) with her disgusting snout and lopsided mouth (filled with crooked-ass chicklet teeth) is ridiculous to me.

In other TV news, I was all pumped for season 1 million of the Amazing Race, but found myself really disappointed with the premier. It was, in a word, boring. A majority of the episode focused on these boobs trying to find the airport in LA, the city of origin. The trip to Ireland was disappointing. Usually they highlight some cultural aspect of life in the featured country. However, the main thrust of the episode was, again, people trying to figure out driving directions. Crap.

And last night I watched the penultimate episode of "The Bachelor." I only saw the premier (and not even on purpose) so I have no connection to these people. But I just have to say that this Bachelor and Bachelorette show is so wrong on so many levels. It is so humiliating to those who participate.