Here Comes the....STRESS!!

I think I mentioned in my last post that I've had these two day-long workshops related to teacher mentoring for next year. As I sat there yesterday, watching the hours ticking away, and thinking of the things I could have been doing instead, I was pretty anxious.

After the workshop, I went over to pick up my dress. It had been steamed and was all wrapped in a plastic bag. Since the last fitting had been just two weeks before, the ladies in the shop said it was good to go. They did advise me to take it out of the plastic bag to avoid condensation in this extreme heat.

Upon getting it to E's place, I did remove it from the plastic and could not resist the urge to try it on one more time. I have to say, I wasn't terribly happy with what I was seeing.

The spaghetti straps, which I had added to increase my comfort level in the dress, seemed to have been thrown on willy-nilly, as an afterthought. There wasn't much logic to their placement, and they certainly didn't sync in seamlessly as part of the design. It looked pretty obvious that they were just thrown on there at the last moment. Also, the straps were way to loose, meaning that even just standing there at rest, they kept looping over the sides of my shoulders and falling off.

Great...so the option was to either keep pulling up a strapless gown all night, or to do endless battle with enormous, ill-placed straps. Normally, when I have some little "wardrobe malfunction" of that sort, I think, "Ah, who the hell is going to be looking at me anyway?" and I wear the item in question anyway. However, the point of having a wedding is that people kind of look at you.

So, I tried tucking the straps away to see if wearing it strapless might not be the better option after all. No dice there. The front line of the dress, across my chest, had this huge pucker in it. If I looked down, I could see straight down to my bra.

I called the shop and they told me to bring in the dress.

The woman who altered it last time was working. When she looked at the dress, it was almost like an alien abduction thing. She didn't deny doing the original work on the dress, but she looked as if she couldn't possibly understand what had come over her when she had done it.

Out came the razor blade and the straps were cut off, repositioned, and completely re-fitted. She said they were an entire inch too long. Ahhh...that seems rather significant to me.

Then, she ended up having to pin off the whole front and she is going to recut that and refit it. Jesus, I was a wreck going to pick it up yesterday, hoping it would fit. Now I'm even more nervous because she's cutting stuff off the dress, so if she effs up again, there's no turning back.

Also, the woman mentioned that my bra was "all wrong." Again, I have worked with this woman about three times and believe me when I tell you that there are no secrets between me and this woman. She has seen more of my body than even my doctor has. She has reached her entire arm down this very bra countless times, and has made no mention of it being "all wrong." She was the one who gave my 78 dollar Spanx the old heave-ho, too, so she hasn't been shy about giving undergarment advice in the past.

Now, I have to go to Lady Grace again today and pray that they have something I can work with.

Oh, and as another little pleasant aside, the bra that I currently have, which I've worn for a total of 15 minutes over the course of my fittings, has a bone popping right out of the middle of it. I do have the receipt, but the tags are off and it has been three months since I purchased it. I'm probaby shit out of luck there, but I am going to bring it in and ask them to exchange it for at least something else.

Christ.

So glad all this is happening on the day before the wedding!!

I know, I know...every couple has last minute crap to do in the last minutes before a wedding, but Jesus!