OOOOHHHHMMMMMMMM......

Today it sucked when the alarm clock went off early. I was about to get all annoyed about getting up early, but then I thought...."I survived a root canal yesterday. Early morning alarm clock? Ha! That's nothing." Suddenly, I was exceedingly serene and happy to greet the early morning. Serenity now.

I got to school and the students told me that the substitute teacher berated me for about twenty minutes because I had mis-numbered the quiz I left behind for them to do. I was feeling all hot under the collar at first. How dare that asshole berate me publicly in front of my students? Then I thought, "Screw that shit. I survived a root canal yesterday. Public flogging by a jackass who gets paid 60 bucks a day to deal with this nonsense? Ha!" I just serenely told my students that any person who would publicly criticize a woman he didn't know in front of her students was a far lower life form than the teacher whose Microsoft word auto-formatting sabotaged her quiz numbering. Serenity now.

I called Target today to see if they had a specific item. "Sure," they said, "We have plenty of those in stock." When I went over there to pick up said item, I found out that in fact, not only do they not have this item, but that they have not carried it for some time. I was about to go all Ralph Nayder consumer advocate on their ass, but then I thought, "Really, Nants? You're gonna get upset over this crap when you survived a root canal yesterday? Let this one go!" Incompetent Target employee?? Ha! I smiled and apologized to the woman at the customer service desk, stating that clearly the mistake must have been mine. Surely I misunderstood the woman whom I had spoken with earlier. They called the Target in Watertown and confirmed that the item was there and would be set aside for me. Serenity now.

I was stuck behind some jackass who must have learned to drive at the Stevie Wonder Auto School. I was about to honk his ass into oblivion, but then I thought, "No way. I survived a freakin' root canal yesterday. Slow driver who refuses to use directionals? Ha!" Serenity now.

Somebody at Shaws nearly hobbled me for life with her shopping cart. I was about to turn around and tell her where to shove that godforsaken carriage. But then I thought, "Christ! I survived a root canal yesterday. Coming away from a trip to the seafood counter with a permanent limp? Ha!" Serenity now.

Basically, that's my new outlook on life. When something looks difficult, challenging, or overall shitty, I'm just going to think of how I survived being restrained by three people while a dentist shoved an injection directly through a dental nerve and I'm going to think, "HA!"

Serenity now.