Coming January 3rd to a boob tube near you!

I want to know how the hell we failed to make mention of the fact that the new season of the Donald Trump Show starts up on January 3rd. I know the last season was a bit of a bust, and this season's "celeb Apprentice" doesn't look too promising from where I sit, but come on, we have to at least give it a try.

I think it was really selfish of Reesie to move and not even have the decency to start up the "App-Reese-Tice" game, or at least instructing me how to do so. I tried to figure it out online yesterday, but I'm at a loss. Reesie, if you're reading this, I know you have to deal with finding a place to live and starting a new job in a whole new state, but please, set your priorities straight and get us started!

Anyway, I've been a pretty unfaithful viewer of the Amazing Race this season. I still maintain that the most beautiful attraction featured on that show is none other than the Amazing Phil. We actually watched it last night. I suddnely remembered why I never watch it; the contestants are so freakin' annoying! The two goths were, at long last, eliminated. This might make the rest of the season more palatable and I might tune in to a few more episodes.

I'm signing off, my friends. I'm at the gym and I have class in five minutes.

I think I'll leave the Trump picture on the computer desktop so that the poor sap who has to shut them down tonight and take all the random crap off the desktop can see his lovely visage.

Post Christmas Blog!

So, how was Christmas, everybody?

My Christmas was great! I spent time with both my family and Stephen's (this being my first Christmas as a married woman) and got some fabulous gifts.

Lauren gave me the entire Sex and the City series, which blew me away! I have already watched about a million episodes, and I'm only halfway through season 2! I've seen most of the episodes, but, never having subscribed to HBO, I've seen them all out of sequence and edited for network television. I love seeing the whole series unfold in its rightful order of events. I know I'm jumping on the "Let's talk about Sex and the City" bandwagon a little late (like four years after the series officially ended), but I have to mention a few things...

First of all, Miranda is a riot! I never really had any strong feelings about her character one way or the other, but the more I watch the show, the more I get a kick out of her one-liners. She is so acerbic and cheeky. I love it! I also think it's really funny that Charlotte, the total prude of the bunch, keeps meeting these men with these hideous sexual proclivities. How funny!
Anyway, thanks, Lauren, for making this vacation fun with plenty of episodes of Sex and the City to keep me entertained. I've mentioned to a lot of my friends that you gave me this, and they are all inviting themselves over for a series viewing marathon. I'll have to let you know when it's going to take place.

I got some great books, too. Stephen's parents gave me, Animal, Vegetable, Mineral by Barbara Kingsolver, which I'm dying to read. Stephen gave me a book about the serial killer who is the subject of my all time favorite book, Devil in the White City, H.H. Holmes. The title of this book is, aptly, Depraved. I also got Bill Clinton's book, Giving. I think Bill is brilliant. He could write fortune cookie and I'd think it was nobel prize worthy. I think I might be the only person, beside for Bill himself, who read his autobiography in its entirety .

Those are just a few of the great books I got.

I also scored some nice gift certificates and a lovely necklace and earrings set from Stephen. I love seahorses, and he found the coolest necklace and earrings with these lovely silver seahorses on them. He also gave me some books and a pair of Nike Shoxx for my busted feet. They seem to do something to keep the pain at bay while I'm exercising, too, which is great!!



At any rate, I mentioned my favorite book, Devil in the White City just a few minutes ago. I am delighted to see that Juanita is reading it because it rocks! I gave a copy of it to my principal (not because she is my principal, but because she wrote a letter of recommendation for me to a graduate program) and lent both of my copies (yeah, I have two) to two colleagues to read over the Christmas break. I had a hard time letting one of them go because I was actually in the middle of reading it AGAIN!! However, since it was like my 9th time through the thing, I figured it was for the greater good to let her borrow it. I was happy to learn that she read it and then passed it to her husband, who thought it was amazing, too. And one of my gym friends just mentioned that she made her husband buy it for her for Christmas. She is aptly blown away by it, too!

I think the author of Devil should thank me for boosting his sales like 3,000 percent. If you still haven't read this book yet, waste no time in getting your arse to the bookstore to procure your copy today!!

'nuff said.

Many Happy Returns

Today I went to the mall to return a sweater that I bought several weeks ago.

I purchased the sweater as part of a "buy one get one 75% off" promotion. One such sweater fit perfectly. The other fit as if I had purchased it at the Baby Gap. This despite the fact that they were the exact same style and size. I guess this speaks volumes about the shoddy craftsmanship of modern day clothing.

At any rate, I fully expected to be refunded only the 75% reduced rate for the sweater since I had kept one. This was fair enough, I figured.

The line at the store was huge, of course. The woman to whom I presented the return and the receipt was dumbfounded as to how to perform the return. She got all stressed out. I assured her that I was in no hurry and that she should take her time and ask her supervisor what to do.

She patiently waited for her manager to finish a transaction and asked her how to conduct the return. The manager agitatedly told her, "Ring in the non-sale amount, then subtract 75% and give her the difference." Fair enough.

The poor girl returned to her register and started the return process. She rang in the official amount (pre-sale) and then stood there in further confusion. She asked me, "If I have to figure out 75% of 30, I just take 75 cents off, right?" I said, (and no truer words were ever spoken), "I'm hardly a math expert. Ask your manager."

With this, she looked toward her manager who, once again, was crazy busy, and decided that, yes, all she needed to do was take 75 cents off and then give me the full price minus 75 cents in a return credit.

Who was I to argue?

Where I should have had 5 dollars credit on my card, I ended up with 30. Hey, you could call me immoral. I would reply, "Hey, if they can sell an allegedly 30 dollar sweater for 5 dollars in the first place, aren't they the ones stealing from me??"

Ha!

Take advantage of store craziness to conduct your returns!

Who ever said the news wasn't entertaining??

I was laughing my butt off last night as I watched the 11:00 news.

Apparently, there was some water main break in the city of Lynn. Naturally camera crews were there to catch the action.

The newscaster introduced the story, and then cut to video footage. The first thing shown was, nor surprisingly, the flooded street. Next up was some footage of workmen standing around, doing nothing to quell the rush of water. They were all laughing about something, yucking it up. Suddenly, there was audio and one of the workmen quipped, "Yeah, he's a fuc#$%@in' Asshole." (Of course, with the thick Boston accent, it was pronounced "aaahhhhs-hole.") With this, the other workmen all started breaking into these big, vicious chortles." The video ended abruptly and the cameras went immediately back to the newscaster in the studio. The guy looked stunned, and tried to seamlessly head into the next story.

Hilarious.

Merry Christmas!

Difficult as it is to believe, Christmas is just about here.

Stephen and I are preparing to leave the house shortly to get our Christmas celebrations underway. We'll start off by going to mass where we were married (unbelievably) six months ago! Today is the sort of remembrance mass for Uncle Matthew, who passed away five years ago (right?) at the very tender age of 37.

After mass, we'll hit the road to head to NH where I'll spend my first Christmas as a Mrs. with my new in-laws.

Today was great. I woke up at 7:00. Any school teacher out there will understand what I mean when I say that I consider a 7:00 wake-up time a "successful sleep in." Considering the fact that I'm usually on the bus to work at 6:35, being able to sleep until 7:00 is a big deal!

I decided to go out for a walk. The thing is that I LOVE to be out walking around really early on any Sunday morning because there's nobody around. But the even better thing is that here, in Boston College world, there is literally not a soul around as they've all left to go home for Christmas. I walked across normally lethal intersections without so much as a care in the world. I didn't even regard the walk signals because there wasn't a car to be seen. They could have filmed that new Will Smith "I am Legend" thing right around here at Christmastime.

I walked into CVS and was the only customer in the dump.

I walked into the coffee shop and was the lone soul in the place.

I trolled the streets for over an hour, just enjoying being the only living thing within miles. I LOVE just being out there and having the whole darn world to myself!!

Anyway, I should get going. I have to pack a few last minute things. It just dawned on me that I should bring the essays I stupidly assigned all my classes for the day before break. Now they have all the work done, but I have to do massive correcting! Oh well, I should have plenty of time at Stephen's parents' place to get some work done. That is if I can tear myself away from the Risk game we are promising to get started!!



Gotta run. Have a great Christmas!!

Anyone Out There?

I'm beginning to think that our little blogging group has fallen apart. None of us is writing as much as we used to. And I miss reading your silly little comments on my blog.

So, are any of you girls still out there, or am I in blogland all alone?

Boston was walloped by a pretty significant snowstorm on Thursday. Our superintendent of schools released us on noon Thursday. It proved to be a really good call on his part. I ended up going to lunch near my school with two of my colleagues. We spent a leisurely couple of hours in the coffee shop, chatting and enjoying our gourmet sandwiches. The snow had only just started when we entered the cafe, but in the just under two hours that we were there, it really accumulated!

One of my colleagues takes the same bus home as I do. I was never more glad to have somebody's company on a bus ride; we spent 2 and a half hours on the bus. Normally this is like a 30 minutes (tops...in high traffic) ride. I was going a little stir crazy at the end of that ride!!!

the snow continued to fall fast and furiously right on through about 8 last night.

I woke up the rooster to hold "no school announcement" vigil with me. I was starting to lose heart; although Boston called off school, (which is usually a pretty good barometer as we often follow suit), but none of the other telltale districts were calling. I started to stir from my comfy perch on the sofa, entertaining thoughts of the commute nightmare, when all of a sudden, my school district was announced as being closed!!!

Yes!

Honestly, the school could have easily opened. The weather wasn't that bad. The snow was pretty easy to negotiate in my travels. Public transportation was running (relatively) seamlessly and the car traffic was moving pretty smoothly. I know we have to make up the missed day in June, but seriously, it is soooo much easier to wait for the bus in the warm sun on a June day than it is to slip and fall in patches of ice in the still-pitch-black New England winter mornings.

I was at a 7:00 AM spinning class, I did all my food shopping, and cleaned every room in my house.

I might even tackle the laundry next!!

Yeah, this day off was well worth it.

There is supposed to be another storm coming Sunday night. We'll see if that translates to another day off on Monday. I'll keep you posted....if you're even reading, that it!!!

What the Fuck-abee????

OK, so if you make it to the very end of my next post, you'll see that I wrote about some "republican senator hater" who was spewing stupid, ignorant things about gays and AIDS. I wasn't really even looking at the screen at the time. The hater was not some no-name senator, but rather presidential candidate, Mike Huckabee. Jesus, I haven't really been paying attention to anything about this jerk, but I think I've heard all I need to. This is some scary, scary stuff. Get thee to the polls on election day to make sure we keep this asshole as far away from the white house as possible.

Screwed!!

OK, so I think I mentioned that I have to face my arch rival standardized test, the GRE, very shortly. I bought a review book yesterday. I thought I had my head wrapped around just how hideous this thing was going to be; I had made peace with it. But then I opened up the review book and well, let's just say that upon my first glance at the math section, I broke out in a cold sweat.

See, the problem is that I already took and bombed the GRE years ago. I was all prepared to send those horrible scores with my application, but the Educational Test Service web page reported that they are unable to generate score reports for any test taken before 2002. Since I took my GRE in like 1919, I'm screwed. So, a $140 registration fee later, I'm counting down the days to GRE hell.

I know I could take a review class, but here's what bothers me about those stupid courses....

They are often run by the ETS, the selfsame company that writes the test. Basically, all they do is teach you strategies to "beat the test." They admit full out that you don't really even have to know how to do the stuff, but rather you have to know how to navigate your way around sticky questions. Where is the merit to this exam?

To be honest with you, if I thought it might help me, I might even lay out the cash to take the course, but I did it for the SAT and after 4 tries on that thing, I only just broke a score of 1000. My best score ever was 1010. Really.





But seriously, this math. WTF? I am applying to a program for English teachers! Why they are so hell bent on making people take this silly ass math test is beyond me. Yeah, yeah, there are English sections on the test. For the most part, I'm doing pretty well on the practice tests in English. I mean, Christ, reading is an ongoing skill in our lives. We don't really lose touch with it. But honest to God, the math (like the crap shown above) is so far from being at the forefront of my daily thought process that I'm at a loss as to how to even begin to solve these things.

The worst part is that I recognize a lot of the stuff. I know I've seen a lot of it before, but I can't figure out what to do with it. The most frustrating thing is that there are times that I spend ages on a problem, and I don't mind that it took me a half hour to do single problem (on a 30 question, 30 minute session) because I'm convinced that I'm dead right. I then go to the answer key to check my work and find out, not only that I'm wrong, but that the right answer is the one that I rejected at the outset of my solving, having dismissed it as a completely impossible answer to the question at hand.

I am so screwed. And I'm not talking about the kind of crap when I was in high school and I'd say, "I know I failed that test." and then I'd get like an A-. I'm talking about completing the 30 question practice sessions, and finding that I only got 5 or 6 questions right when I correct them at the end.

The thing that made me laugh is that they explained that for the computer-based test, (which is what I'll be taking), they keep seeing how you did on questions to determine the level of difficulty of the subsequent questions. They're going to have to call some jerk in to fill up the database with some simple ass questions to make sure there is enough of a supply for me. I'm hoping they keep me at around the 4th grade level throughout the duration of the exam.

Anyway, I'm just super frustrated right now by this crap. Why, why, why do these schools insist upon this standardized test shit? Why don't they judge applicants more on the important things like professional experiences, letters of recommendation, school transcripts, interviews? Why does everything have to depend on this silly ass test? And why, in the name of God, is the "general" test so math oriented? And who the hell deems complex calculus-based math problems, "general knowledge?" I think my math general knowledge (figuring out sale prices at stores, doing quick subtractions from my checking account to avoid overdraft, etc) to be acceptable enough general knowledge.

Of course, the math people are probably all upset about the literature and vocabulary stuff. But I stick to my assertion that math people are more likely to be in constant contact with reading on a daily basis, and therefore are homing those skills on a much more regular basis than I am with my math skills.

The REAL reason that I was so excited about Bates when I first applied was that they did not require the SAT from students. They openly say that they understand that their applicants are more than a 3 hour standardized test that takes place on one Saturday morning of their lives. They also refuse to play into the ETS institution, preferring to learn about the people their applicants are, as opposed to what number they earned on a silly test in a subject they probably have no intention of studying.

They claim the GRE gives the school a chance to see your thinking and strategizing skills. Let them come watch me teach teenagers all day long, and they can see how I operate and think. I feel this is much more indicative of how I'll perform in a teacher program.

OK, enough about my anti-GRE diatribe.

Onto important sale news....

I was in EMS yesterday when I saw this jacket.....



I've been thinking about buying a down jacket, but was always deterred by the fact that they make you look like ten times more puffy than you already are. There are lots of things I need in life. Looking puffier than I am is not one of them. But anyway, this $100 down jacket was on sale for $70, and it was quite thin and looked relatively decent. I only looked 400 pounds instead of the 700 pounds I normally look in down jackets.

I didn't buy it, but started regretting it later. They had only had one in the store in my size. So, out of worry that they would run out, I decided to order one online. I logged on and VOILA, they were running a web-exclusive sale...the jacket was only $50 dollars online!!! So,I ordered it. Now, I don't care how damn puffy I look, I'm going to be in my warm-ass down jacket when I'm standing there waiting for the bus!

And I'm going to LLBean today and I think I'm going to try on these boots. Too cute, huh?




OK, gotta run. Some republican senator hater is on TV refusing to recant his statement that homosexuals are evil and should be quarantined. The remote control is on the other side of the room. I have to go get it and change the station because I CANNOT listen to this hate-spewing asshole.

Have a great one.

The True Shame of America

You know, we keep hearing about these presidential candidates' stances on the "issues." The one issue that I feel is never adequately addressed is the cost of education in this country.

Why are there so many countries (I'm talking wealthy, industrialized European nations, Canada, etc.) that have figured out that the government should pay to educate the citizens, and we here in the United States, continue to unabashedly ask our citizens to come up with upwards of forty thousand dollars a year for a college education?

As I apply to Harvard Graduate School of Education, I am horrified by the fact that it costs $85 just to submit the education. It cost almost 100 dollars just for some Harvard graduate admissions officer just to deign to read my files.

Christ.




And, on top of all of this, I now have to participate in this GRE racket. I took the tests when Christ was a child back in 1999, but now the ETS says they can't generate a score report for any tests taken before 2002. Come on, as if these bastards don't have that information at hand.

So, now, not only do I have to spend four hours of my life on the last Saturday in December in some computerized test center hell taking the GRE, but I had to pay 140 bucks for the privilege of doing so.

WTF???

Happy F#$%@ing Holidays!!

For several years now, I've been running the school faculty holiday party. Every year, I get driven batty by the same old crap.

The people who don't pay but show up anyway, thus creating an awkward "Hey, sorry to interrupt your meal, but can you please pay up?" moment.

The people who bitch endlessly because no matter what I do, it isn't goo enough.

The people who claim, at the time of the party, that everything is great, but who go home and call the restaurant and complain about the paltry quantities of food in order to have a meal comped at a future visit.

Last year, after I engaged in a six-block foot pursuit (in three inch heels) of a woman who showed up and never paid, I swore I was done planning the holiday parties.

And then, a few weeks ago, my principal, who I like a great deal, asked me if I would plan the party again. In a moment of weakness, I consented.

Things have been going OK so far. Of course, the final payment is due tomorrow and I have over half the staff who have not even acknowledged the fact. This in spite of my mass emails, multiple photocopied notices stuffed in mailboxes and thrown across every inch of the staff room. This in spite of the fact that I keep stressing the fact that, because the party is catered this year, final numbers cannot be tweaked at the end. More money can't simply be thrown at a restaurant chef to throw on an extra try of chicken, ziti and broccoli. I keep telling these people that I'm meeting with the catering staff tomorrow, and giving them final numbers and payments. Has this prompted people into payment action? No siree.

I don't even really give a shit about all that.

A few days ago, a couple of women whom I have lunch with, asked me if, instead of getting a sheet cake, I would ask people if they'd be willing to bake desserts. I said, right up front, that I knew this would give rise to endless complaints from the staff. After all, in all fairness, they have paid money to attend the party already and they could argue that dessert should be included, and this is a difficult time of year to expect people to throw more "to do" items on their cooking lists.

But, in an attempt to continue being democratic (for up to this point, I have given people the option of two restaurants from which to choose, and held meetings in my room about menu selection...attended, mind you, by NOBODY!!), I sent out another email about the desserts.

Christ, I don't think the authors of the Geneva Convention were more mindful of wording and the general impact of language than I was in this email. I basically acknowledged the abovementioned concerns (already paid, busy time of year, etc.) and said that the idea of bringing home made desserts was not mine, but rather had been proposed to me by several of our colleagues. I said that I would leave a dessert sign-up sheet in the staff room, and if, by Friday afternoon, there were no/not enough volunteers to bake desserts, I would quite happily order a cake. I stressed that nobody would be required to bake, and that nobody would be expected to bake enough for the entire staff, but rather one batch of whatever they do best.

Again, I stressed the importance of not wanting anybody to feel obligated, and my general flexible nature in the whole thing.

Well, wouldn't you know, word got to me today that the entire first and second grade faculty were, during their common lunch shift, kicking the shit out of me. I didn't even care about maintaining professional decorum. I immediately went to them after school and asked them to give voice to their concerns to me, rather than behind my back. They started laying into me. No sooner had they begun than I pulled up the email I had sent Sunday night and that NOT ONE OF THEM HAD READ IN SPITE OF BEING TOLD BY OUR PRINCIPAL TO CHECK WORK EAMIL DAILY.

As you can imagine, they felt like assholes.

I honestly think I'm going to be there for the food delivery that day, make sure the person is paid, help in the setup, and then fucking retreat to my classroom.

Screw this crap.

And as far as being caught in a moment of weakness when asked next year if I'll run the party...

NO F'n Way.

Oh, and as I reminded those ladies, not one of them offered to help me plan and not one of them came to my room for any of the meetings I attempted to convene.

If they had so much to say, I reminded them, they had been afforded plenty of opportunity, and chose not to take it.

Cat Fight

Today I went to pick up my homeroom to start the morning routine. The snow meant that the kids were all in the gym instead of lining up outside. The mother of one of my students was there to basically alert me to the fact that the conflict between her daughter and another student had reached critical mass, and to ask me if I would keep my eye on things. I assured her that I would, and headed upstairs with my class.

Honestly, I have known that conflict has been brewing between these kids for a while now, and so I figured it would be more of the same old same old. I'm so used to the tell tale trappings of adolescent girl drama that I tend to be pretty tuned in to the signs of when the conflict has reached a "boiling point."

Anyway, I was doing my usual morning thing, wandering back and forth between my classroom and the lockers, and making sure that kids were keeping it down to a loud roar in either location.

Things in the classroom seemed pretty under control, so I took a "tour de locker." No more than 30 seconds had elapsed, but when I returned to my homeroom, these two girls were locked in a pretty serious and violent fist fight. And these are pretty tough kids. So, I did what I get paid the big bucks to do, and I threw myself right in the middle of the melee to stop the fight. I took a kick from one and a punch from the other, but that was the extent of my exposure to extreme violence.

I marched the kids to the principal's office, where she lectured them and said everything you'd expect the principal to say to warring middle school girls.

But here's the thing...

she sent both kids back to class.

And let me just say here that I really like both of these kids. I don't think either is a sociopath, and I don't fear for my safety or that of my other students if they are present in the class.

However, if two boys were to be involved in a similar situation, they would automatically have been suspended for at least two days. They would have been made to sit in the office for the remainder of the day at hand, at the very least.

Two boys would never have been allowed to return to class after a simple talking-to. I even had to go to the principal later and suggest that she might want to call the kids parents to alert them to the fact that their kids had been fighting, and possibly injured.

Again, with boys, that would have been an automatic.

Anyway, doesn't it just suck to be a middle school kid?

Honestly, I feel really badly for the kids sometimes. It is such a tough developmental stage. I would never want to go back to being that age. As I said, I like both of these kids. This is just something that got bigger than both of them, and they had no idea how to make the problem go away. Hopefully we can get them some help and get them to internalize some coping skills that might make them stronger problem solvers in the future.

It is decidedly NOT the most wonderful time of the year

I was listening to some Christmas music today on Rhapsody. Of course, I dug right into the Johnny Mathis Christmas album. Yeah, I'm only 34, but I freakin' LOVE the Johnny Mathis Christmas album. My favorite tune on the album is "The Most Wonderful Time of the Year." If you aren't familiar with the album, you've got to pick it up. You'll have an instant new favorite.

I have to say, though, that it is so FREAKIN freezing right now in Boston that calling this the most wonderful time of the year is completely inaccurate.

We are actually expecting snow on Sunday into Monday. Fuck! Excuse my language, but I can't think of anything else to say about it. I REALLY, REALLY hate this winter crap. And here in New England, we're always doomed to months on end of it.

Anyway, I digress...

My main message to you, my devoted readers, is this...

GET BACK TO YOUR BLOGS. I WANT TO KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON WITH YOU. I WANT TO BE ENTERTAINED BY YOU.