Shut Up, Already!

I very stupidly asked for the book Animal, Vegetable, Mineral by Barbara Kingsolver for Christmas. My fabulous in-laws went right out and bought it for me. I was delighted to receive it and anxious to start reading it.

If you're not familiar with the book, it is a non-fiction work by Kingsolver in which she details her family's quest to eat nothing but locally grown or raised food for an entire year. Sounded like an interesting premise. I thought it might be informative, humorous, and even full of some great recipe ideas for fresh fruits and vegetables. I thought it might be enlightening, or at the very least, entertaining.

But here's the ugly truth of the matter.

All this broad does is freakin' preach about how as Americans we're fat, lazy, overindulged and inconsiderate of the environment. All this might be true, but haven't we heard this all before in so many books, films, songs, documentaries? Does there really need to be another work detailing the sloth of Americans? Does she think she's sharing groundbreaking truths with us? Does she think her book is so revolutionary?

Let me shed some light of my own on this situation...

We've seen, heard, and read it all before.

The annoying thing is that Kingsolver starts off by talking about how much fuel is required to ship out-of-season goods clear across the world. True, I'm sure. The problem is that I'm now on page 75 of the book and this is all she seems to discuss. Well, this and the fact that her family is so perfect and that we are all inadequate and unworthy of life because we don't live just like they do. Honestly, I thought I might be inspired by this book. In fact, I'm just totally turned off because this woman is such a self-righteous asshole. The worst thing is that the woman doesn't just come across as an utter stuck up asshole herself, but rather she drags her entire family in on the act. The stupid husbad, Steven L. Hopp, has these little "factual essays" that appear at random intervals throughout the book. He focuses on, surprise, surprise, the fact that we waste billions of barrels of oil shipping foods around the world. But I haven't shared the worst part of this book yet....

Even worse than the jackass husband getting involved, is the fact that the daughter, 18 year-old self-righteous asshole in training, Camille, has little missives throughout the book as well. In her missives, she basically unabashedly pats herself on the back for eating only free-range meats and locally grown produce. She paints herself as the wonder of her college class and makes it sound as if all her classmates are worshipping at her feet because she eats fresh veggies.

Puh-leez, people!! When I was in college, nobody looked twice if anybody ate a salad. In fact, it was pretty commonplace. Things must be pretty different now than they were when I was in college.

If my writing has not convinced you that these people are assholes, just take a look at the photograph that they willingly put on the back of their book. Need I say more? A pictures speaks a thousand words, doesn't it?




My favorite parts of the book involve the author telling stories about how friends have served out-of-season fruits and vegetables at dinner parties. Kingsolver completely berates and insults these people, basically equating their choice to serve these foods with their singlehandedly destroying the planet. She insults their intelligence, their hospitality, and their friendship to make her self-righteous points.

Screw that. I hope these people read her book, feel rightfully insulted, and drop this bitch like a hot locally-grown, free range, organic potato.

It is not often that I don't finish a book. But this is one that will be relegated to the "holding up the short end of the couch" pile. I just can't be preached at by this arrogant, pompous asshole and her family any longer.