SOB in an SUV

How could I have failed to mention this? I was walking to work yesterday, and as per usual, I was forced to walk in the middle of a busy street because nobody shovels, the ice gets packed in firm and smooth on the sidewalk, and walking on them would be akin to voluntarily breaking my own legs. I mean, why go through the trouble? I'd save some time and energy just taking a sledge hammer to my own leg and shattering it to smithereens.

Because this is a busy street, I resign myself to the fact that my walk to school is going to take much longer than it would without the ice and snow. I can only walk during red lights, when I get a reprieve from the oncoming traffic.

Most motorists are patient. They seem to get the fact that walking on the sidewalk is out of the question and that they simply have to share the street with pedestrians. Some drivers even tend to yeild to the walkers. Some go the extra step of proffering the "sorry-about-that" wave when the eventually have to pass by me.

But yesterday, this was not the case.

I was in the middle of the street, walking carefully, purposely not listening to my iPod and staying as alert as possible to oncoming traffic. All of a sudden, I became aware of an approaching car, but was rather alarmed when I realized that the vehicle did not seem to be slowing down. The driver had to be fully aware of my presence in the road. If not, he would certainly be 100% blind and therefore unable to obtain a license.

I turned to see some huge SUV bearing down on me. The passanger side window opened and the driver calls out (over a megaphone, because this vehicle was so massive that I wouldn't have been able to hear him from the driver's side without his using a voice amplification aid), "Hey you fat bitch...get out of the f*&% street!"

After his verbal assault, the driver came face to face with a red light. And me. He was stupid enough to sit there, all sheepish, with the window. So, I hurled a barrage of complaints at him through his open window. My response went a little something like this..

"Oh sure. Now look who's all big and strong at the red light. If you got out of your SUV for five seconds and actually put your feet on the ground, you might see that the sidewalks are like an ice rink and virtually impossible to walk on, but what would you know about that, using your offroad vehicle as an urban assault weapon."

Then I walked off. It surprised me that he was stupid enough to sit there with his window open and let me berate him. But then again, if a guy was stupid and jerky enough to make those vicious statements to a woman in the first place, I guess nothing he did should have surprised me.

Jackass!!!

Oh well, I might have had to endure being called a fat bitch, but then again, I'll take it from whence it came. And I chuckle a little bit when I think of that boob spending half his income at the gas pump, filling that monster up so that he can go around and give more women complexes.

Rest assured, this woman has no such complex after my encounter with that fool! I just hope and pray that this loser is single because I get very sad when I think of some poor sap being stuck in a relationship with that a-hole.

Naw...I like it better when I think of him alone, miserable, and sitting in front of the boob tube with a Swanson's Hungry Man dinner, watching Star Trek reruns or something similarly lame. I like to think of him calling up the phone company to check his line because he can't figure out why nobody is calling.

Yeah, those little daydreams make me happy!