Thoughtfulness

As a teacher, I find that I spend much more time focusing on the "bad" than the "good." This is sad, but this is often the way things have to be.

If I have to choose between writing a mid-term failure warning for one student, and writing a commendation letter home to a student who did outstanding work on a project, I hate to say that I have no choice but to opt for the first. You see, I have to "cover" myself, and make sure that I document the potential failure of students so that I have a leg to stand on if parents come to challenge me on a report card littered with F's. So, I write the failure letters home, maintain "the log" in which I document all the evil deeds of the youngsters in the class, and follow up on all of these with phone calls home. Often times, I find myself the victim of an onslaught of insults from the parents of the offenders, leaving me to wonder, when these people clearly have no respect for teachers, is it any wonder that their kids don't? I have been blamed, accused, threatened, belittled, berated, insulted, and shouted at by irate parents. I guess that people can't discern between a public servant (which, as a public school teacher, I clearly am) and public doormat (which, irrespective of my job title, I outright refuse to be.)

Let's' see, today I was called a dumb bitch by a student who didn't like that I actually had the gaul to ask him to sit out o fthe mock trial we were staging in order to get moving on getting the paper (that was due Monday) started. Note that I said, "started' and not "done." He didn't even know what the assignment was. I figured this out when he shouted over to me, 'What are we supposed to be doing here?", as one of his classmates was "testifying" on the "witness stand."

In all, I resent that these trouble-makers take so much of my time, but I have no choice but to deal with it and spend the necessary time performing the crowd control tasks.

One thing I always appreciate, as a teacher, is that those kids who are lovely and who can always be depended upon to be nice, sweet, reliable, hardworking kids, always seem to know that even though I can't spend the time commending them for their outstanding behavior and work habits, I still do appreciate everything they do.

I appreciate these kids on a really profound level. Some of them are not straight A students. Many of them struggle. Many of them find the work incredibly difficult and have a really hard time earning an A. However, they try really hard, show up to school prepared to work and learn, and always have a positive attitude. I think sometimes kids are under the impression that only the A students are valued by the teacher. Not true. I value anybody who can walk into that space and show me that they want to be there.

This week, as Christmas nears, many of my students have begun to show up with generous gifts for my colleagues and myself. I always feel badly for the kids' parents as they enter 7th and 8th grade. Prior to this year, the kids all had one class teacher, meaning parents only had to buy 1 teacher gift. Now, in 7th grade, these parents feel compelled to go out and buy 4 gifts, one for each teacher of each academic discipline.

The really moving thing is that many of these kids come from families who are struggling to put enough gifts under the tree for the kids. And yet, this does not stop them from going out and buying gifts for us.

The funny thing is that while all the gifts are generous and much appreciated, it is the ones that cost the least or are handmade that mean the most to me. I think I speak for all teachers when I express this sentiment. When I receive a very modest gift from a child, and I look at the child standing there proudly as I open the gift, I often have to fight back a tear. I know this sounds sappy, but I'm serious here. I know that it was difficult for that family to pull enough money together for that gift, and the fact that they did and that they value the role I play in the child's life enough to make sacrafices is an extremely powerful statement for them to make. It is very moving to be on the receiving end of such appreciation. Not many of our careers afford us moment like those.

I have happily doused myself in horrible perfumes, worn gaudy jewelry, and eaten my fair share of homemade cookies (all the while fully aware of the fact that the child has sneezed into the batter or licked the spoon that later turned the batter...gross, I know, but that's just what you do.) These are all occupational hazards that I accept as a blessing of this career.

Any parent who reads this should know that while teachers do not expect any gifts from their students, the fact that you think enough of us to buy us a gift or share a portion of your holiday cooking with us, or even make a thank-you card for us, means so much to us and it keeps us going.

Anyway, this year I have already received the requisite scented candles, chocolates, hand-drawn cards, snow globes, tree ornaments and body lotions. Tomorrow is our last day of school before Christmas. I am sure that I will get a stuffed animal that some little girl takes off her own bed to place in a gift bag, or a book that has clearly been read many times. I look forward to expressing my gratitude and genuine excitement over these gifts in front of these generous children.

By the way, I always make it a point to open the kids' gifts in front of them. I hated it when I was a kid and the teacher put the gift aside and didnt' open it. I also keep a stash of thank-you cards on hand, and these get sent home to the child and family the very same day.

I had better get going. I have to place a "Teachers Make the World A Better Place" lapel pin on my jacket. I also have to iron my green sweater to wear with a set of very large green earrings that I received curtosy of an 8th grade girl who was so clearly proud of her gift that I could not do anything but wear those accessories proudly tomorrow for her to see.