Brent Gets His Walking Papers

The walking "disaster," Brent, finally gets dissed and dismissed by the Donald. I was so tempted to pick Brent as the guy to get canned in this week's App-Reese-tice game, but it seemed too obvious. I just never pegged the Donald for one to fall victim to predictable behavior patterns. Oh well, I might have taken a hit on this one, but here's a message/warning to all you suckers who picked Brent as the weekly fire...

Now that Brent's outta there, your predictions won't be so easy! I don't even count the points you fools earned. I'm mentally subtracting them from your totals. Now, be prepared to get your real game on!

Anyway, this week's episode was not really all that dramatic. No major SNAFU plagued either group. There were no physical altercations. No broken computers or lost files. Nobody got lost or damaged any major equipment. It was a pretty uneventful show.

The task at hand was to design a billboard for Post Cereal's new "Grape Nuts Trail Mix Crunch" cereal. It actually didn't seem that daunting a task. Each team has members who claim to have some artistic ability, so this task should have been a simple feat for them.

So, join me as I recap what I feel were the show's most important moments...



Once again, Brent asserted his opinions loudly and in a rather boarish manner. He spent much of the meeting eagerly waving his hand in the air in order to get somebody, anybody, in the group to acknowledge his asinine comments and input. Rather reminiscent of Arnold Horseshack, isn't it?

When Brent "stepped up to the plate" * to offer his "expert presentation services" for the final meeting with the Post execs, Tammy, the project leader, decided to take a pass. She put Brent in charge of the ever important task of "wardrobe coordination" for the presentation.

Ivanka Trump, who was overseeing the group in Carolyn's stead, seemed rather disgusted at Tammy's decision in this regard. She said that although Brent was a blundering idiot through and through, Tammy should try to prove herself capable of managing him by delegating more important tasks to him. I agree with her.

Either that or they should have given a really important job to Brent, knowing full well that he would flub it up. This way, the could have given him enough rope to hang himself and essentially let him self-destruct. I think they might have kicked that idea around briefly, but they decided that not only would Brent become a sacrificial lamb, but the entire team might fail, endangering other players.

Boy..what team spirit!

Back to Brent and Tammy...

Tammy told Brent, basically in so many words, that his physical gerth was not aligned with the obviously health-conscious consumer base that Post is trying to target with Grape Nuts products. Wow! Later in the board room, when Brent brought this up, I thought the Donals might jump to his defense. In the past, Trump has blasted people for holding people's religious practices against them, etc. I thought he would find this sort of "discrimination" totally unprofessional, but surprisingly, he agreed with Tammy and said that he probably would have made the same decision.

That did surprise me.




Brent really didn't need much help nailing his own coffin shut. The above picture shows Brent in a pants-ironing frenzy, even as his teammates are fully dressed and waiting by the door for him to get his ass out the door.

Totally unprofessional.




At any rate, these are the billboards.

The Synergy Billboard (Brent's team), shows a "father" and daughter pair, enjoying a box of Grapenuts Trail Mix Crunch.

Boy...where do I start?

First of all, the woman they chose to be in the photo was adorable, but the man who they cast as her "father" could have easily passed as her boyfriend or brother. Who the hell were they kidding in trying to portray these two as father and daughter? I don't think the average customer, who would see this for just several seconds during a drive by on the freeway, would reasonably conclude that this pair were supposed to be father and daughter.

There was too much print on the box. The graphics were presented in about 34 different fonts and colors and the "logo" was like an entire paragraph.

The Gold Rush team ran with Bryce's idea to go with the concept of a woman emptying the box of cereal into her mouth, as if "quenching her thirst" for Grapenuts. I found it kind of boring, but the Post people loved it. I guess I'll never have a lucrative career in advertising.

Can I just add here that the members of both teams were so absolutely schmoozy and cheesy when they approached their model recruits in the streets of Manhattan? Yuck! If one of those groups came up to me with that demeanor, I'd run in the other direction. I'd be thinking for sure they wanted to make a dress out of my skin or some shit.

In the end, that Andrea woman should have born more responsibility for the task failure. She is allegedly a multi-millionaire whose fortune is derived from her brilliance in graphic design. The thing she designed looked like the "Intro to Power Point" course my 7th graders are currently completing in their I.T. class.

However, none of the teammates were willing to send Tammy up the river because they seemed to have all figured out that if they kept hammering away at Brent, the Donald would feel the pressure to dump him.

I guess that was one strategy they actually succeeded in executing flawlessly because the Donald heeded their plaintive cries and dumped Brent!



I do just want to say that I was left wondering when the hell the Donald Trump Show turned into MTV's the Real World. In every season of the Real World, viewers are treated to the gratuitous footage of multiple people lying in bed together. What the hell was up with Sean, Roxanne and Allie having a freaking threesome on the Trump Show? The funny thing is that Sean seemed, if anything, to be in the way of Roxanne and Allie. They were wrapped around each other like a couple of pretzels.

Who knows what will happen next on the Trump Show!

* I propose a drinking game. Every time one of the candidates utters the expression, "Step up" or "step up to the plate" chug a beer. You'd best to invest in a keg for each viewer in your home before next Monday!