Where DO the weekends go? Why am I SUCH a procrastinator? Will somebody PLEASE help me get to the bottom of these questions?

Before I even get to the two pressing questions raised in the title of today's post, let me just apologize to my girl, Juanita Sanchez, for once again neglecting my Friday-Night-Beer-Pic-Posting duties. On Friday night, I did, indeed have a couple of 20 oz. glasses of the glorious and magnificent Pilsner Urquell at the Asguard in Cambridge.

I don't mean to let Juanita or any of my faithful readers down. I know I have to stay on top of my beer duty and I promise that I will try never to fail you again! Rest assured that from this point forward, you WILL see pictures of beer, sweet nectar of the gods, on my blog on Fridays!

OK, so the real pressing issue at hand here is trying to find out answers to the very important questions I've posed in my title.

Wasn't it just Friday afternoon like 30 seconds ago? How can it already almost be noon on Sunday? Where the hell did Saturday go and how can an entire day pass like a blur, almost unnoticed?

Here's the thing...

I have a series of essays to correct. Once again, I've decided, in a very un-brilliant move, to have all my students pass in essays at the same time. I am required by the district to do writing assignments with the kids and, naturally, as a teacher, it is of personal interest to me to see that these kids improve their writing skills.

The really disenchanting thing is that with the exception of maybe three kids, (I'm deadly serious), nobody can write. There is no notion of sentence structure, grammar, punctuation, syntax, verb tenses....NADA! I honestly spend hours upon hours correcting these things. Many times I find myself reading "paragraphs" over and over again and still not understanding a single word of what they've written.

By the time I am finished "correcting" their essays, there is, honest to God, more of my handwriting on the paper than there is of theirs.

It infuriates me that these kids do not even attempt to reread their own work before passing it in. They don't even freakin' spell check it! I know they don't even think about what they're writing, because when I call them to my desk at school and ask them what they meant in a certain sentence or paragraph, they often cannot even tell me.

So, my whole procrastination thing factors into the equation because I have done every imaginable thing OTHER than correct these essays this weekend. In fact, I've been avoiding them all week. The following are some ways in which I have managed to steer clear of this venomous pile of essays taking up residence on my kitchen table...



On Monday, the day the essays were handed in, I was debating whether or not I should go to the gym. The class is at 6:30 PM, and I usually just exercise at home on Mondays. Although 6:30 seems early evening enough, for a teacher who has to be up at the crack of dawn, the thought of arriving home from the gym at 8, then getting dinner, etc.,...you get my picture. However, on Monday, the options were: A. correct the essays B. go to the gym. No brainer. I went for option B and had a great workout. Then, of course, I had to attend to the serious business of watching "The Donald Trump Show." I coudn't miss that. Surely, I thought, I'll get to the essays tomorrow!

On Tuesday, I went to the gym for my typical 4:30 class. When that was over, I noticed an interesting-looking class starting up in the other studio, so I stayed for that one, too. (I can't say that my sudden interest in a class that has been going on in the gym for the entire three years I've belonged to the gym had nothing to do with the thought of those papers at home.) I had just done two hours of cardio, so I had to balance that out with some strength work, right? Of course! So I stayed on for another half hour. I was way too beat to correct when I came home. Wednesdays are perfect for correcting!

On Wednesday, Gene called out of the blue and asked if I wanted to go to the pub quiz that night. We haven't done the quiz in months and months. I didn't want to see Gene lonely, so of course I had to go. The pile of essays was staring at me, but I reasoned that if I was going to have a beer or two, I should get in a pre-emptive workout. So, I got my "The Firm" DVD's going and worked out for an hour. Then, of course, I had to shower before going out. I couldn't offend Gene of my fellow quizzers with my body odor now, could I? I'm way too considerate for that!

On Thursday, you guessed it. I went to the gym where I suddenly found myself intrigued by several classes I hadn't tried and machines I had not used.

On Friday, I though, ok, this is it. I'm going to go straight home and do nothing but correct. I can sacrifice one Friday night. Well, I showed up at the gym for my usual step class and my favorite instructor, Dee, was there. She said she hurt her foot and asked if I would stand in front of the room because I know all her routines and she was worried that she wouldn't be able to demonstrate them herself with her sore foot. Naturally I complied. I had no intention of staying for the second class, but then she asked if I would because of her foot, so again, I complied. After two straight hours of step, I was ready for a bite to eat and to head home and get working! As I made my way out of the gym, my phone rang. It was Gene. He was in the pharmacy right above the gym and so, naturally I met him. Our dinner was quick, and I did only have a couple of drinks, but I was so beat when I got home at 9:30, that I went straight to bed.

My intention was to get up Saturday and get correcting. I got up at 6:30 and decided, weeeellll....maybe if I just do my 8 o'clock class at the gym.... And then I ended up doing the 9 o'clock class after that, then going to do laundry, then heading out to lunch with my mom, then doing a little shopping, then having a drink with Gene...and then falling right into bed when I came home!

And today..today is Sunday. My big correcting day, right?



So far I have subscribed to the online music store, Rhpasody. Fabulous. For 10 dollars a month you can listen to ANYTHING on your computer! Fantastic! Of course I had to spend some time reading the all-important Mac specifications and figuring out how to use the thing.



I have mopped my kitchen and bathroom floors, swept all my hardwood floors, straightened out both of my storage closets, organized my bookshelves, folded clothes, cleaned out my trash cans with bleach and hot water, cleaned out my refrigerator and dusted just about every surface I could find.



I'm sure that I will get these essays corrected. Perhaps after I go food shopping, which I plan to do in an hour. Perhaps after I clean my bedroom. Perhaps after I organize my computer stuff. Perhaps while I'm falling asleep tonight in front of the Academy Awards.

I'm sure it'll get done...

If I don't get them done, I will not allow myself to watch the Donald Trump Show tomorrow night. And that's some serious shit!