Really Annoying Crap about the Academy Awards

I am sitting here and sort of semi-watching the Academy Awards. I'm not really paying full attention for a number of reasons. Those reasons are as follows:

1. I don't have much invested in the awards show this year. In fact, since I rarely go to the movies, I rarely have anything truly invested in this broadcast. I did see Brokeback Mountain, which I thought was beautiful, and which I would love to see pick up some awards. I guess I'm somewhat invested in the movie Cinderella Man, too, because, God help me, I hate Russel Crowe with a loathing that borders on dangerous, so I am not-so-secretly hoping that the film wins nothing. OK, I guess I wouldn't mind if the musical director picked up some award or the other, but please, do not make me endure having to watch Russel Crowe be awarded for anything. I am also finding myself increasingly annoyed by clips from the "Capote" movies, and hope they get shunned by the academy as well.

2. I can't stand the self-important celebs, gushing about their "amaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazing directors" and in their acts of humble graciousness, the "wooooonderful crew who made the film happen!" Ugh!

3. I HATE, I mean really CANNOT STOMACH the movie montage clip things. They have done nothing but pay "homage" to all kinds of genres of movies and directors and directors. And I literally cannot stand when they do the 30 minute lifetime achievement award for some old codger of an actor that I've never even heard of, and who hasn't acted in a fucking movie since they figured out how to put sound with film!



John Stewart is hosting this year. As you well know by now, I do not have a remote control for my TV, and it seems that my TV is constantly tuned into channel 7. I can't ever be bothered to change stations, so I pretty much watch NBC exclusively by default. I take it John Stewart is not on any NBC shows, because I've never seen him. I've heard of him, of course, and I know he has quite a huge following, but I don't know what he does, really. Anyway, I was about to declare him unfunny on this very post. But then, as I was waiting for these pictures to upload, he made a jab about the amount of stupid montages they're doing, so I'm now declaring him to be in my good graces. I'm sure this is very important to him!

I shouldn't say that I was finding him completely unfunny, but I'm not sure if this is the venue for him.

4. Jesus, can I also mention that I hate the live music performances? I mean, I have to get up and leave the room when those stupid songs are being performed. Who cares?

Jesus, even as I type, some guy is singing a song called, "Its Hard Out There For a Pimp." I mean, it is kind of funny. Better than Celine Dion busting a gasket singing the Titanic thing or something, but come on. Imagine what Dame Judy Dench must think as she's sitting there watching scantily clad women gyrating up there with these gangstas and singing about the trials and tribulations of PIMPIN'


Funny moment...Queen Latifah just arrived onstage right after the pimp song, let out one of her signature, "OOOOOHHHHHHs" and asked, "Now, how did I manage not to find myself in that number?" She's good!



I had to come in and edit this post. I just hit "publish" when they announced the song winner. The Pimp Tune took the statue. John Stewart took the stage anew and announced, "I think it just got easier out here for a pimp."

Yes, I am starting to really like John Stewart!



Oh well, at least Samuel L. Jackson appeared live on the broadcast. The more I see him, the more I'm convinced I'll have him cast to play me when they make the movie of my life!