Reality "Show" Down!

Where to start?

I fear that today's post might be untimely. I've been dying to comment on both "The Bachelor" season finale, and "The Apprentice" season premier.

N.B. "The Apprentice" will heretofore be referred to as "The Donald Trump Show" because, after all, we all know that's exactly what it really is.

Anyway, I've been busy since the shows aired Monday night. Immediately upon the conclusion of "The Donald Trump Show" I had to tune into the Bachelor. The Bachelor didn't end until 11, and since I had my work evaluation at 8:00 the next morning, I figured it was best to procure a decent night's sleep than stay up late opining on the events and occurrences of reality TV shows. On Tuesday night, I went over to my boyfriend's place, and I can't very well blog over there. I need peace and quiet to work! Last night, Gene and I headed over to the table quiz. Totally a spontaneous decision, and I don't regret going (even though we got our asses whipped), but still, it was one more thing standing in the way of my blog posting!

So, here I am. Several days late and several million dollars short. Du patience, s'il vous plait!



The photo above shows the first victim of the Donald in season 5 of "The Donald Trump Show." This woman was pathetic. Where do I begin?

1. She claimed to be a restaurant owner, and yet, when pressed to call restaurant owners to tell them to come down to Sam's Club to shop for their supplies, she refused to do so, claiming that she didn't want to disturb her fellow restauranteurs during dinner rush. Ahhh....whatever. She should have just done it, annoyed a few people, and at least armed herself with the ability to say that she had done as she was directed. If she can't handle a little hostility from fucking restaurant hostesses on the phone, can she really be Donald Trump material? She further refused on the grounds that Tarek, the project mananger, hadn't given her any real "hook" with which to entice the customers. Well, that's very true, but even I, who have no notion of how the restaurant industry runs, would say that it seemed painfully obvious that all one would have to do in this situation is say, "I'm a restaurant owner, too, and I do all my shopping at Sam's Club. I save bundles!" Obviously, she wasn't willing to perform this simple task. Clearly, she was destined to be dead weight on this team.

2. Her true fatal mistake, however, had nothing to do with phone calls or her lack of industriousness during the task itself. Her real downfall came in the form of her insistence upon interrupting the Donald when he was clearly in the midst of firing Tarek's ass. (I'll get to Tarek later.) If you're a devoted fan of "The Donald Trump Show" like I am, you know that Donald hates to be interrupted. He particularly hates to be interrupted by somebody who insists upon having their say while he's in the middle of firing somebody else. And why wouldn't he hate that kind of stupidity? If you see the Donald abrading one of your colleagues, you sit back, shut the hell up and let the Donald do his thing.

After all, Hell hath no fury like the Donald in the face of stupidity.

Summer interrupted the Donald in spite of being told by him to shut up, that he was basically "knocking" Tarek and about to cut him loose. But Summer kept coming and Trump ultimately had no choice. In a classic table slap and point of the finger, Summer was fired and sent back to her restaurant!

She was an idiot.

Now let me get to Tarek. I believe Reesie made reference, in her blog, to the fact that if there were a drinking game which mandated that players take a drink upon each of Tarek's references to his affiliation with MENSA, none of us would have a prayer of making it through the first five minutes of the show with even the most tenuous grasp on our sobriety.

And we are not light drinkers.

Tarek was really useless. He managed to completey ruin his chances at gaining his teammates' respect within the first week of the show. If you will recall, when Trump was telling them to get out, he was remiding Tarek that he should count himself lucky to still be there. At this point, Lenny turned to the Donald and, in reference to Tarek's presence on the show, said, "Not for Long" in his dead pan Russian cadence.

As for the other contestants, I think most of my predictions were pretty accurate. Bryce was kept on the DL this week, but I'm sure it is just a matter of time before he digs his heels in and proves to the world that he is nothing but a spoiled, petulant child. Brent is obnoxious. I'm hoping his can endear himself to me, becuase I think he might last a while. However, I'm fearing that he'll just continue to annoy me, making his involvement in tasks difficult to watch.

I guess we shall see what goes down in future episodes.

The great thing is that, thanks to Reesie's new Apprentice Trump game, we have several new devoted "Donald Trump Show" fans. Lauren, who had never even seen the show, tuned in because she had a stake in the show, what with Reesie's game. John joined her in watching the show, and he, too, found it compelling. Even my man, who normally knocks the hell out of any of the foolish shows I watch, called me Monday at 10 saying, "I watched Trump. It was awesome!" He is in Colorado now. He called me tonight and during our brief conversation, in which we basically had time to establish that he arrived safely in CO, and had fun meeting his friends, he said he couldn't wait to see me when he gets home Monday, and that he'll be back in plenty of time to watch "The Donald Trump Show" with me.

This rules! Go Donald!!

OK, onto the bachelor....



I was worried at first that I would not be able to see Trump and Travis, because they were airing at the same time. However, by some strange twist of lucky fate, Travis was on from 9-11 and Trump was on from 9-10. I watched all of Donald in his entirety (I didn't need to see all the stupid Bachelor final dates), and then watched Travis from 10-11. I'm so clever!

The first woman to come to the chateau was Moana. Prior to coming in for her "proposal" or "rejection" she had given Travis this spiel about how, "Even if I have to leave here without you tomorrow, I know you will have given me a piece of myself that I never knew existed. I will take that piece of myself with me and I will always have that. For that, I am eternally grateful." Some crap like that.

When Travis ultimately rejected her, she went dead, stone cold on him. Remark the photo above...Travis is trying to hug Moana goodbye, but she places her arms behind her back so as to pointedly not reciprocate his hug.

I wonder if Moana took psych 101 in college and knew how to be overly obvious about her body language. Or maybe she read one of those columns in "People" where they talk about the body language of celeb. couples, claiming to have been able to predict Ben and Jen's split because JLo had turned her cheek to Ben's oncoming kiss.

Wherever Moana got her body language tutelage, it must be said that she executed the "non-hug" move very well, if not at all subtly.

Remember the "piece of me" comment? Well, Moana sang a different tune after Travis rejected her. She said to him, "You have a piece of me that I'll never be able to get back."

In the limo ride home, poor Moana was wracked with sobs. She was sobbing violently. It was pathetic. But isn't this why we tune in?



Travis picked Sarah, which initially made me happy. But there was also something cold in this ceremony. They kept saying they were happy, but they didn't seem loopy happy. Travis gave her the ring on a necklace, which is fine, but look at the picture. It looks like the two of them are at a business conference.

The show just kind of ended. It wasn't very ceremonious.

Oh well, like the show, apparently the romance ended. Here's a picture of Dr. Travis back at work at Vanderbilt Medical Center...



Apparently Sarah is living it up in Nashville, now at the center of the socialite society of that lovely southern city. good for her.



I will be watching ER in a few moments. Dr. Carter (Noah Wylie) is coming back. I know, this is not "reality" TV, but still, i guess the "reality" of Noah Wylie's career is that he's hanging his head in shame, crawling back to ER because he has obviously not had any career success beyond this show.

Ahhh....

that was a long post, but it feels good to put it out there.

Please read on for my birthday shout-out to my man, JON BON JOVi