Things Heard in a 7th Grade Classroom.

Welcome to Grade 7.

Welcome to my life.

I think most people agree that their middle school years were some of the worst, most awkward years of their lives. Most people are very happy to have moved beyond this downright unpleasant phase of their lives. I, however, relive this era day after day, year after year.

It isn't all bad; I actually enjoy my job. Sometimes, though, things can get a little exhausting.



I constantly have to remind my kids that, being a 7th grade teacher, I am endowed with 7th grade teacher ears. I can hear everything. I could be in a deep slumber and if a pin were to drop in a house two streets over, I'd jump straight up and demand, "What? Who? Who dat?"

These kids are often amazed at the fact that I can hear the faintest of whispers from all the way across a crowded and noisey classroom full of kids. This, of course, does not stop them from saying inappropriate things, using filthy language and harassing other kids all within my 500 mile-radius earshot.

I hear it all.

Every last word.

Every last threat.

Every last swear.

Every last sexual tale of woe.

Everly last blatant lie.

Every last rumor.

All of it.

The following are a list of some of the things I've heard this past week alone. Some of them require some set-up or explanations. Others are pretty self-evident and require no further clairifcation.



1. Today was the kick off of the dreaded MCAS test for students across the state. As my class hunkered down to get moving on the "Long Composition" phase of the test (one of many phases), I informed them that all across the great Commonwealth of Massachusetts, every single 7th grader in every single public school was settling in at that exact moment to start the exact same test. One of my students asked if the test was given in all 50 states. I explained that, no, this test, "MCAS" actually stands for "Massachusetts Comprehensive Assessment System." (I didn't think anything of the question, to be honest. When we were kids, they were always throwing standardized tests at us and we never gave much thought to the acronyms for them). I figured enlightening the kid as to the meaning of the "M" in MCAS, I would be able to answer her question. Instead, as soon as I revealed the meaning of "MCAS," she just sat there, looked a little confused and said, "Ok, but do kids in other states take it?" I looked at her and asked, "You mean, do students in other States take the Massachusetts Comprehensive Assessment System?" To which she replied, "Yeah, do they?" I was about to clarify another time when another of the students chimed in with, "Hey! Do students in other countries take MCAS?" Ah...but of course. MCAS is a useful assessment tool for children in Thailand, Mongolia, Massachusetts and Peru alike!

2. The MCAS writing prompt involved students having to write about an after school activity that they would ideally like to se offered in their school district. The whole idea behind this portion of the test is to see if kids can pull off the task of constructing the all-important 5-paragraph essay, complete with intro, 3 body paragraphs with topic sentences and supporting details, and conclusion. One of the students asked me if she was supposed to write about one activity, or several. Annoyingly enough, I cannot help kids on the test. I encouraged her to reread the question and look for whether they were speaking in singular or plurals, etc. Following the test, I asked her what she wrote about (for we are FORBIDDEN to look at their work), and she told me that she wrote about three clubs in which she participated last year. However, from the sound of it, she spent most of the essay talking about the fact that the woman who ran the gardening club once brough her twin toddler boys to the club, and how one of them fell and hurt his knees. it seemed, judging from my conversation with her, that she spent at least 3 paragraphs addressing the issue of this kid's knee injury.

3. On the way to the cafeteria following the test, one student said to another, "Oh, there was a question we had to answer? I just did a free-write."

After that comment, I had to tune any and all MCAS conversation out.

4. Yesterday a student, who does absolutely no homework, classwork, writing assignments or assigned readings, was sitting in my class seemingly sneaking around with a notebook on his lap while the rest of the students were editing their essays on the laptops. I made my way back to the kid only to find that he was doing the evening's homework rather than the essay. When I questioned him on his he replied, "Well, I don't feel like doing the essay. I might as well do the homework so I don't have to take a zero on that, too. If I'm not going to do the essay, I can at least use this time to do my homework." I took the paper, ripped it up and then told him to start over.

5. A student who is constantly screwing around on the way to my class following morning snack in his own homeroom made one of his regular "water fountain pit stops" on his way to my class yesterday. Before he could even stoop to take a drink I busted him. I told him he could have taken care of quenching his thirst during his 25 minute recess and that he had better get himself to class. He said, "How is the Somerville Journal going to feel when I call "Speak Out" to tell them you're trying to kill me by refusing to let me get water?" I told him I suspected he'd manage to survive the 45 minute period without a drink. He didn't like that. I didn't care.

6. Somebody stole a ten dollar bill out of a Lukemia Lymphoma Society collection box I have in my homeroom, so I have ruled my classroom to be off limits in the mornings and othewise unless I'm there in the room. I said, "Somebody was dishonest..." One kid in the front row said, "I'll say what Ms. B. is too nice to say or isn't allowed to say. Somebody was a real scumbag for stealing money from charity and if we find out who did that, we're gonna give you a mad beating." I had to quickly rephrase this child's sentiments in order to remove all threat of physical violence. I used the whimpier but less controversial, "This person was very unkind and will be reprimanded appropriate if and when we find out who he or she is."

7. I overheard one student say to another, "It practically wasn't even sex. We had most of our clothes on for most of it."
Ahhhh.....?

Yep, I hear it all.

Every day.

Of

my

life

I live for summers and vacations!!!!