Sorry it has taken me so long to blog about the season finale of the Donald Trump show. I'm sure you've all been waitin with baited breath for my take on the thing.
Truth be told, I've been rather unmotivated to blog about the show this season at all because all in all, the show was pretty lackluster when compared to previous, decidedly more entertaining seasons.
Here's' my little A-B-C list of what went wrong with Season Six of The Donald Trump Show....
A: ANNOYING: Yes, every season has boasted its token annoying contestants, but this season's crop of contenders were almost so annoying as to render the show unwatchable. Also, in previous seasons, the Donald has had the good senses about him to fire the annoying players early on, thus ridding us of their presence sooner rather than later. That was not the case this season. The ass-chapping voice/accent combo of Nicole, the used car salesman pitch and cadence of James, and the "surely-I'd-get-my-ass-kicked-in-the-real-Brooklyn" Frank were with us right up to the bitter end.
B: BORING: There were no real fights or conflicts in this season. There was no spark in the boardroom or among the players during tasks. I had no reason to love one candidate or to hate another. They were so bland and nondescript.
C: CONSISTENCY (OR LACK THEREOF): Different judges each week was disruptive to me. I like Ivanka, Bill and Randall, but the Trump show just wasn't the same without George and the ever-acerbic Carolyn.
D: DON JR.: Walking Penis. Need I say more? No...didn't think so.
E: EDITING: We never really saw the meat and bones of the teamwork involved in any of the projects. Also, no mystery was ever left in play as to whom would be canned. Each week, the editing was so overt as to show the steadily mounting evidence against a particular individual, leaving us know, well ahead of the boardroom, whom would be axed.
F: FINALE FLOP: The last four candidates never even had to perform a particularly difficult or demanding task. Trump called all 4 together, promptly canned Nicole (thank god) and Frank, who simply slinked off stage without so much as a discussion, nevermind argument. As Reesie pointed out, clearly Trump realized the season's ratings were going south and gave the end of the season the bum's rush, rapping up the finale with 4 candidates remaining, and neglecting to even do a "separate-the-men-from-the-boys" task. Pathetic.
G: GAME (Ap-Reese-Tice). Clearly this game was rigged to California Mo's advantage. Nobody could have earned that many points week after week without some inside information. I'm just trying to figure out how she got her hands on the sensitive information! I'm determined to get to the bottom of this one.
H; HANDSOME MALE CONTESTANTS: Complete lack thereof.
I: IDLY STANDING BY WHILE GETTING CANNED: Did any candidate really put up a valiant fight to remain in the game? I'm telling you, the boardrooms were pathetic this season. Everybody slinked quietly into oblivioun without so much as advocating for themselves. They all deserved to be canned.
J: JACKASSES: This pretty much sums up the lot of contestants.
K: KITSCH PHRASES: (complete overuse thereof.) How many times can we work "At the end of the day" and "Step up to the plate" into each episode?
L: LOS ANGELES SETTING: This new venue didn't seem to add any spice or novelty to the show. The tent dwelling business got pretty old pretty quick.
M: MINDLESS MUTUAL ADMIRATION: Everybody on this season loved everybody else. We were hard pressed to see any conflict in the boardroom. All everybody could do was praise the other contestants. Come on people, start throwin some daggers. That's why we all tune in! We aren't watching for this cumbaya campfire shit!!!
N: NEPOTISM: Jesus, Trump. Do I even need to spell out the fact that we see right through your having every member of your extended family featured in the show this season?
O: OBNOXIOUS: James. Frank. Nicole.
P: PREDICTABLE: Again, we always knew exactly which player would be canned well before the boardroom moment of truth rolled around. There were no twists and turns. The editing so clearly set up the final outcome by halfway through any given episode.
Q: QUIETLY GOING INTO THAT GOOD NIGHT UPON BEING CANNED: Again, candidates just seemed to accept being canned. Nobody ever challenged the Donald. No boardroom ever stood out as having been anything close to any kind of blood bath. It was all too polite!
R: ROMANCE: The romance between Tim and Nicole was ridiculous. Both of them were annoying, juvenile, immature and less adept at romance than my seventh graders.
S: SHAMELESS SELF PROMOTION: Everything from having his kids on the show to having the candidates prepare advertisements for his new condos was just downright overt and blatant shameless self-promotion on Trump's behalf.
T: TIME SLOT: The season started with 8:00 Trump Show and eventually moved to 10:00. As an early morning person who does not own a Tivo or whatever they're called, a 10:00 start time is a real deal breaker.
U: UTTERLY UNORIGINAL: All of the tasks this season seemed to be repeats of very similar tasks in seasons past. Car advertisements and crap. Let's get on with something new.
V: VARIETY (lack thereof): Again, the tasks were unoriginal and the candidates were almost undiscernable from each other. There were no real characters.
W: WIGS: Jesus, between Trump's mess and Nicole's deep fried blowout, I didn't know what to do. Heidi clearly needed to let go of her "Rachel from Friends" attempt at long layers and just pull her hair back and out of her face. What was with Stefani in the season finale? Throughout the entire season, she had this reddish-blong thing going on, and in the finale, she appears with some dark brown piggy-back perm. I honestly couldn't even recognize the Stefani I knew from the show with this woman in the finale.
X: XENOPHOBIA: Trump cans all the foreign born candidates before the finale. Just joking about this one, but what the hell am I going to do with X?
Y: YOUR NAME PLEASE: Trump doesn't even deign to introduce representatives from companies to the candidates. He doesn't take the time to learn their names to present them properly. He simply says, "Your name please" and forces them to introduce themselves to the candidates.
Z: ZERO: The amount of interest I had in the show by the time the season finale rolled around.
2 comments:
Well, Dang! What did I miss before this season? I actually kind of enjoyed the show, now that I finally got started on it this season. I will admit, though, that I did catch myself wondering what the big deal was from time to time. Stefani's hair though...wow. Talk about a bad make-over! She was actually kinda cute before the finale. She looked like Priscilla Presley circa 1967 with that finale 'do. My biggest complaint about the season was the fact that Frank and Nicole got to the finale. Hello! Who do they think they're kidding? I never, ever believed there was a snowball's chance that either of them would EVER IN A MILLION YEARS become The Apprentice! That was just insulting.
ya-i still haven't watched the final 2 episodes...i have no desire to do so. i'm sure i got spanked in The App-Reese-tice as well...but i agree this season blew and i just couldn't get into it. i hope next year they return to new york!!
i will say this, there was no way that frankie or nicole would be made the apprentice-their voices were enough to make me want to fire them from day one!!
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