Who Hit "Fast Forward" On The Time Machine This Weekend?

I know this observation is hardly unoriginal, but I just HAVE to point out the fact that time passes so much faster over the weekend than it does during the work week. I suppose that if I worked weekends and had, say, Wednesday and Thursday off, I would complain that Wednesday and Thursday passed by at break-neck speed.

Again, this observation is hardly earth shattering, and highly unlikely to drive physicist Stephen Hawking to try to court me into collaboration on his next tome on quantum physics, but still.....the "Mach Speed Weekend Theory" never ceases to amaze me.

Anyway, I digress.

As usual.

Stephen and I went to his parents' place in New Hampshire this weekend. As always, the visit was pleasant and relaxing. We took a walk around a beautiful lake and just soaked in the glorious sunshine and warmth. It was really lovely.

As pathetic as it is to admit, all I could think of was getting a nice, cold beer down my gullet. I know, I know, I had my Jever the night before, but there was something slightly skunky about the beer and I didn't even finish a whole bottle. I was actually really in the mood for one of the light, smooth, clean Asian beers. To that end, when we stopped in at the packie on the way home, I grabbed a six pack of the Thai beer, Singha, as soon as I spotted it.



The Signha did not disappoint. It was exactly what I had been craving. Crisp. Light. Delicious. I drank 3 of 'em! Ahhh, Singha! Sweet nectar of the gods.

We also rented "Saw II" just for shits and giggles. We had seen the first one and were mildly entertained by it. We both decided that a stupid horror film was what the evening called for. Stephen had to live park while I ran in for the movie, so we had to decide on what I would get before I even went in. Otherwise, I've been known to spend hours looking through the new releases. Because we were tired of being in the car and the traffic was kind of heavy, thus rendering the live parking thing rather difficult and inconvenient, we quickly decided on "The Saw II." I have to admit, we enjoyed it. It was actually better than the first one. There was more action, and there were many more characters. The plot twists were actually even stranger than in the first one. I recommend it for the laugh.

Today was interesting.

I took a really long walk from Stephen's place over to the Healthworks Gym in Brookline. I belong to the gym in Cambridge, but I decided that since I was in Brookline, I would visit that gym just for a change of pace.

Let me just say that I am totally insulted to be charged the same amount of money for my membership in Cambridge as these people pay in Brookline. The Brookline Gym looks like something you'd see in freakin' architectural digest, and there are about double the number of exercise machines. The nautilus circuit is at least twice as long and there are some awesome arm machines that the Cambridge club does not have. I suppose the class schedule in Cambridge is a lot more extensive, but still...the fact that the membership fee is the same is ridiculous. According to a woman at the Brookline club, the club in Chestnut Hill puts even Brookline to shame. I had better never go to Chestnut Hill because I'd just end up way too depressed.



Anyway, I'm sitting here listening to a bunch of U2 songs on my Rhapsody. I know these guys can be overly political and what have you, but I still love 'em!

Beer and Ramen Noodles...Not Just For Broke College Kids Anymore!

The pressure is on for me to keep to my promise to post my regular Friday night beer pics! Not only is Juanita constantly at the ready to jump down my throat if I have not posted a beer pic by 12:00 noon Eastern Standard Time, but now Bike is in on the act as well. And Bike is pulling out the big guns. He has just made me aware of the fact that there is somebody else out there posting beer pics and stealing my thunder.

It is now almost 11:00 PM on Friday night, and I am just now posting my beer pic. I have a good excuse, and no, it does not involve being too busy drinking beer to actually post a picture of beer.

Let my recap my day for y'all.

Actually, I have to pick up from where yesterday left off.

1. I had a full day of school yesterday, came home straight after school, squeezed in a workout, and then headed straight back to school where I had to endure parent conferences from 6-8:30. The evening conferences always take a lot out of us. Staying so late is really painful because I know I just have to get up at the crack of dawn to start anew the next day.

2. Today was a really tough day at school. I was tired. It was long. I left my house at 7:15, having gotten off to a LATE start.

3. Right after school, I walked over to my mom's work to drop something off for her to deliver to my sister.

4. I worked out at the gym for 90 minutes.

5. Right from the gym, I went to the wake of my friend, Becky's, grandmother. I went with my other friend, Faye.

6. After the wake, we went to a bar in Central Square for a drink and a bite to eat. I had been craving a BEER all day long, but instead ordered a glass of sauvignon blanc. Faye is much more of a cocktail person, and wine seemed to fit the mood better. I ate a small salad, but wasn't in the mood for much more.

7. I took the train to Davis Square (thinking it would be easier for me to catch the bus from there to come home rather than walk from Central. My shoes were killing me.) When I got to Davis, I had these visions of a Czechevar at Red Bones dancing in my head. I decided I was in the mood for a nice cold beer, after all. Red Bones, however, was so jam packed that I could not even move, so I left. No beer.

8. After taking the train to the bus and walking from the bus to my place, I have decided that I am in fact dying for a beer and quite hungry.

9. I am now drinking the one bottle of Jever beer I had in my fridge along with a packet of "healthy" ramen noodles.

10. I am feeling pathetic that this is how I am ending my Friday night. And I am also thinking that I have to tackle the chore of going upstairs, getting myself ready to hit the gym early and pack up what I will need to spend the day in NH with Stephen and his parents tomorrow.

So you see, I am now dispelling the myth that beer and ramen noodles are exclusively meant for college kids.

So Excited!

Ok, most of my faithful readers know that driving has been a great source of angst for me over the years. I have had my license for years, but have never really truly embraced the concept of driving.

I see 90 year old women out there driving, and I know that if they can do it, I can do it. That is my rational side speaking. And yet, I keep thinking of all these horrible things that can happen with me behind the wheel. I guess I worry more about the harm I can inflict upon other people, much more so than the harm I could do to myself.

But, this is it, kids. I have decided to take this bull by the horns. I have signed up for two driving lessons ("refresher courses") for next week. I have also joined Zipcar. I just got my zip card in the mail today and after speaking with Stephen, who has offered his full-fledged support of my driving endeavors, I took the dive into my first Zipcar reservation. My two "refresher course" driving lessons are taking place next week, Monday and Thursday. I have just reserved a 3 hour driving block with a car that has intrigued both of us for some time now, the Scion Xb, pictured above.

I am taking it out next Saturday from 2-5. If you know what's good for you, you will try very hard to be off the road at that point in time.

Wish me luck!!

I am going to become a "driver', come hell or high water.

Adios Andrea!

Ding Dong the witch is dead!

Last night was the best episode of the Donald Trump Show all season!!!! The task was good. There were some suspensful moments. There were some "back-against-the-wall moments", such as when Sean was pressed by Trump to decide which of the two women, Allie or Andrea, he thought should be fired.

But the best part of the entire show was the actual moment of Andrea's termination. There have been a few times this season where I have been asking myself what the hell Trump was thinking in making the decisions he's made, but I have to say that last night I agreed with his decision to fire Andrea's pathetic, boney ass 100%. That bitch had to go!!!!!!!

She is rude, arrogant, condescending and just cannot relate to other people. My girl, Roxanne, put it best when she said that unless Andrea is in charge of a task, she has no interest in participating and putting forth any effort. If she is not in control, she'll sit back and let the team self-destruct. It is all or nothing with that woman, and in the end, it bit her in the ass.

I have to mention that I HATED listening to her fake raspy voice. (Just like Sarah of "The Bachelor Paris"). I don't understand why somebody who does not naturally sound like a 56 year veteran chain smoker would want to go out of her way to sound like a 56 year verteran chain smoker.

I had to laugh when Stephen called me after the show to point out that Andrea talked like the monster character in the horror film, "The Grudge." Not only did she talk like the thing, but upon viewing the photo below, I think you'll agree with me when I say that Andrea also looked like this thing.



Speaking of horror shows, what is up with Donald Trump, Jr? Is that bastard just freakin' creepy, or what? I know and you know that he has some serious kiddy porn downloaded onto his PC. He gives me the heebie-geebies, big time! Also, was it me, or did he seem to be hovering on or only just slightly above the comatose level throughout the entire episode? I thought George was a stick in the mud, but he looks like "Mr. Personality" when compared to D.T., Jr. How did it happened that Ivanka got all the brains and all the beauty? Couldn't Trump, with all his millions, have paid some geneticist to make sure his son would NOT look like the missing link? And while I'm on the subject, I think Junior has a one-way ticket to inheriting his dad's infamous WIG!

Just a warning...

I have a picture of Trump, Jr. posted below. Look if you dare. It is more frightening than the Grudge picture.



A few more thoughts about the Trump show...

1. Although I originally thought Charmaine was a moron, I was in total agreement with her when she expressed complete frustration at the fact that when her team finally won, it was under Lee's direction. I think Lee is a fugly, (not a typo), silly little man-boy who somehow conned his way onto the Trump show. When he stuck up for Lenny after his disastrous shot at being PM, I lost all respect for him. He's a fool and it is too bad that he was the PM for this victory. First of all, he did absolutey nothing to contribute to the victory. Secondly, this victory already appears to have gone straight to his head. Oh well, we all know what happens to those who gloat!

2. Allie was a moron as PM, too. Although Andrea clearly had to go because of her lack of ability to make sales, work with her teammates and contribute positively to her team in any way, Allie displayed no shortage of incompetence. She should have let Tammy go back for her own notebook. She should have taken a pamphlet to extract information that she spent so long procuring from a tour (admittedly Andrea's idea...pains me to say), and ultimately, she missed out on the initial phases of planning the pamphlet. When she showed up at Battery Park and realized that her competition were already there, what did she do? She decided to move her operation to Ellis Island where, by her own admission, 90% of the visitors had come directly from Battery Park, and had, therefore, obviously already purchased the other pamphlet. I would be remiss if I did not mention the fact that Allie's valley girl, cheerleader cadence drive me up the wall!

3. I'm so happy Roxanne is my season pick. Even if she messes up in the weeks to come and does not get hired, I think she is the best, most intelligent candidate. She clearly has the most integrity and although she is not necessarily above complaining about people (she hated Andrea..another reason to love Roxanne), she didn't say shit about people that she would not say directly to them. You have to respect that. I am glad that Trump acknowledged her excellent speaking abilities. He clearly seems to like her unconditionally, which is good. It might buy her the benefit of the doubt if she ever finds herself on the hot seat. Surely she made Trump lean in favor of firing Andrea while she protected Allie's ass. And as I just said, Allie was not above reprimand here. Her termination would have been, I feel, completely justified. She owes Roxanne, BIG TIME!!

4. I'm actually beginning to like Tarek more and more. I am bummed out that he was the driving force behind the pamphlet, and that Lee took the credit as the project manager. That's too bad, because Lee was already (undeservedly) sitting pretty with Trump while Tarek has been in the hot seat with Trump. This would have been a good time for Tarek to redeem himself a bit.




In a completely unrelated matter....Reesie has asked "What is Zipcar." Zipcar, Reesie, is best described by its own tagline of "Wheels when you want them." They have fleets of cool cars parked throughout urban areas and people can reserve these cars by the hour or by the day to run errands around the city. You reserve online, go to your car's home (there are a few right in Union Square), flash your zipcard in front of the sensor, and the car unlocks. The keys are inside, tied to a rope on the steering wheel. When you take the car out, you just lock it up, no need to take the keys. The zipcard actually locks and unlocks the actual engine, so even if somebody busted in and tried to start the car, the engine would not even turn over. Also, on the zip car driver who reserved the car can actually open the car and unlock the engine.

The fleet of cars is very cute. VW Bugs, Honda Civics, Elements, Toyota Matrix and Prius, Scion Xa and Xb, and all kinds of other cool little cars.

The advantages are many. First, I can practice on their cars, crash them up and never, ever have any more than a 500 dollar deductible. I am fully ensured on zipcar, never pay for gas, have XM satellite radio, never wait in line to rent or return the thing and many more. Also, I will have a great chance to drive lots of models of cars around and test them out without having to deal with pushy car salesman.

Pretty cool, huh?

And if I travel to any city in the US where there are zip cars, I can drive them just like here.

Jovi's Consumer Reports

As most of you already know, I am an avid shopper. Clothing, cosmetics, whatever...

I figured I'd take a few minutes to review some of my more recent purchases with you, in order to help you determine whether or not you would like to patronize the businesses and companies to whom I have recently shelled out my hard earned dollars.

Let's start off with the good reviews.



First place is awarded to Zoots Dry Cleaners for outstanding work in cleaning and repairing my beloved Ann Taylor lace eyelit skirt. Folks, this skirt is whiter than white, and it is gorgeous. It is the shining jewel in my wardrobe (which, believe me, consists of a rather modest collection of not-so-designer clothing). The skirt was initially 179 dollars, but I bought it for 70. I have worn this thing to more weddings, funerals, parties and functions than I can shake a stick at. I LOVE this skirt. But, naturally, the fact that it is pure snow white has not helped in the area of keeping it squeaky clean.

I attended a summer wedding with my friend, Peter, last summer and naturally, opting to wear "the skirt" was a no-brainer. However, at the reception, I foolishly decided to partake of the fruit and chocolate fountain, and well, you can imagine the rest. Ashamed of a rather large chocolate stain on my white skirt, I rushed to the bathroom to do the best removal I could with the available soap and water. The stain was barely visible after that, but I knew it was there and, once again, the skirt is so white, that even a hint of a stain is too much. I took it to some local dry cleaner who reprimanded me for trying to remove the stain myself, and then subsequently failed to remove the stain himself.

Heartbroken, I decided it was time to relegate the skirt to my school wardrobe. Somehow, within the first day of wearing it to school, it managed to pick up two rather large stains (orange in color...don't ask..), and a pretty large tear right through the intricate, delicate eyelit pattern.

The skirt has sat in a bag on the floor of my closet, untouched, for almost a year. I decided, however, to bring it to Zoot Cleaners, which is located in the same strip mall as my gym, just for the hell of it. A Russian tailor looked at the tear in the eyelit and didn't even flinch. "I fix. I fix wizout problem," she declared. The tiny Vietnamese woman assessing the skirt of dry cleaning assured me that since the skirt was white and thus had no potential to lose any color during the cleaning process, she would attack the stain with every cleansing chemical known to man.

I waited for a week for the skirt to return, fully expecting them to tell me that they tried their best, but that they had not been able to return the skirt to its original virginal white status.

Yesterday, after the gym, I walked over and held my breath while they searched for the skirt on the interminable racks. I almost fainted on the spot when I saw it. There it was, hanging beneath the clear plastic bag, looking as gorgeous and perfect as it did on the day I proudly marched it out of the Ann Taylor store!!

Its back!!!

Those of you attending Fwiz's wedding in Florida will undoubtedly be treated to an audience with "the skirt" at some point during that trip. Just remind me to refuse any sauce on my food, to drink only white wine, and to opt for the desserts that are crumbly, not gooey!

Props to Zoots Dry Cleaners!



My next shout out is directed to every New Englander's favorite purveyor or coffee and morning confections, Dunkin Donuts. Anybody who knows me knows that I can never refuse a Dunkies run to get my regular "medium iced coffee with a lot of skim milk and two Splendas." The other day, I was in Dunks, and on a lark, I decided to try one of their "latte lite" beverages. I'm not a huge fan of espresso, but, I reasoned that since Dunks is known for its rather light coffee, maybe their espresso would also be a little on the weak side. I was right. The beverage is 2 shots of espresso, the rest skim milk, and as many Splendas as you like. I opted for two, but needed a third as the espresso, although a weaker variation thereof in the wide world of coffee, is still stronger than the regular coffee. I know, I know. I'll have to field the insults of the artificial sweetener nay-sayers at some point, but I love my Splenda. That's my story and I'm stickin' to it. Maybe at some point when I'm lying there with some incurable disease and my kids are born with 5 heads I'll feel differently, but for the present time, bring on the Splenda, Be-otches!

My third positive shout-out is directed at my beloved Apple Company. This weekend, I was able to order 153 paper prints of my digital photos directly from my iPhoto library. No problem. No extra uploading to some external site. No delays. Apple rocks!

OK, so, now I have no choice but to hurl some negative publicity at a few companies who deserve these criticisms and more, if you ask me.



Once again, my friends, the MBTA (Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority) people are on my shit list. I was taking a bus through Harvard Square yesterday and a woman, while boarding the bus, asked the driver the very simple question of, "Do you go down Somerville Ave?" The driver simply looked at the woman and stated, "This is the #86 bus." Confused, the woman again asked him if his bus traveled down Somerville Ave. Again, the driver told her, "This is the 86 bus." This identical exchange went on no fewer than three more times.

Now, let me get a couple of things straight here. Both the woman and the driver were native English speakers, so we cannot chalk this up to a lack of understanding or miscommunication between the two people involved. Secondly, the woman boarding the bus was very clearly mildly mentally disabled. She was probably in her 40s, but appeared to possess the mental functioning capacity of an early pre-teen. She clearly needed to know whether this man, in his travels, would be going down Somerville Ave. And he simply refused to answer her question.

I made my way to the front of the bus and asked the woman where she needed to go. Her destination had nothing whatsoever to do with the bus she had boarded in her confusion. She asked the driver why he didn't tell her, and he turned to her and said, "It isn't my responsibility to tell you where you need to go. You should look out for yourself." With that, he drove off, making it impossible for her to exit the bus and wait for the bus she needed.

I was livid. Of course, I could not leave well enough alone and when I was preparing to leave the bus at my stop I told the driver that his behavior toward that woman had been deplorable and that if he was not inclined to answer questions about a bus route, he should not be driving a bus.

Of course, he told me to, and I quote, "Get the fuck off my bus, Bitch." I said, "Excuse me?" And his response, coming straight out of 1982, was, "Your mother." I just looked at him inquisitively and asked, "My mother?" I was incredulous. How could I be prepared for this insult when 2 and a half decades have separated me from the most recent time I heard it in use in local street vernacular? Anyway, I announced that I would be calling the MBTA the moment I got off the bus and the man said, "I don't give a fuck who you call, Bitch!"

I did call and I was transferred in to a manager at the dispatch center. I told them that I didn't really care that he had been vulgar toward me, but that it was absolutely unacceptable that he had been abusive toward this disabled woman. As I explained to the people at the MBTA, if I don't like the bus situation, I can go get myself a car and drive around. However, many mentally and physically disabled people are completely dependent upon public transportation to get around and have no alternative. At least they can be treated with some respect and allowed to maintain their dignity.

I was pissed. You can bet your asses I'll be following up with a call on this one tomorrow. And no worries, I got the guy's vehicle number, the starting time of his route origin and a physical description.




This weekend I bought a Shick Quattro razor for my legs. I figured, "Wow, 4 blades. This thing is gonna be fierce. " Let's just say that I somehow had more hair on my legs after shaving than before. No clue what's going on there. I literally had a freakin 5 o'clock shadow on my legs! I am going to need to shave my legs quattro times a day with this thing in order to have those silky smooth hamhocks we all lust after! How bogus!



And one more slam...this one to Delta Airlines.

This story did not happen to me, but it needs to be told!

My aerobics instructor at the gym, whose parents were going to fly to the Bahamas to celebrate their 40th wedding anniversary, had to cancel their trip due to the death of her mother's brother. When her mother and father approached Delta about changing their tickets or getting a refund, Delta was falling all over themselves to replace her mother's ticket with an open-ended ticket, good for travel at any time. When it came to the woman's husband of 40 years, the Delta people simply said, "We're sorry. Since you did not lose an immediate family member, we are unable to alter your ticket or travel date."

Huh? So, the guy was expected to travel to the Bahamas for his 40th wedding anniversary while his wife stayed behind in Boston to attend to the funeral arrangements for her brother?

Ok!

Anyway, the lesson her is to always buy travel insurance. When Stephen and I purchased our tickets to Croatia, 8 months in advance of the trip, I absolutely forced him to buy the 50 dollar travel insurance policy. Jesus, I'd rather lose the 50 dollars and have an uneventful trip than neglect to pay the 50 and then lose 1200 for some unforeseen accident/event.

Anyway, that's my little take on a few of our biggest companies and products. Tell me what your recent shopping trips have produced!

Tutorial

Here is a photo loading test run for Lauren. Gratuitous cute Allie photo!

Uda Pippig to Danza...No Sweat!

Reesie threw down what she THOUGHT to be an impossible "Six Degrees of Tony Danza" challenge.

Naturally, I'm all over it...

OK, as we all know, Uda Pippig is most recognized for her rather messy running of the Boston Marathon back in 1996. She actually won the race 3 times. Not too shabby if you ask this complete and total non-runner.

Where am I going with this, and how will I like Pippig to Danza, you ask. Sit back and read 'em and weep, BITCHES!

Pippig shares her Boston Marathon experience with none other than Will Ferrell, who ran the race in 2003.



Ferrell, of course, starred in "Kicking and Screaming" with Robert Duvall. Duvall shared the big screen with Travolta in the hit film "Civil Action." Travolta made us all weak in the knees playing "Danny Zucco" in "Grease" alongside the esteemed Jeff Conway. And, of course, to complete the circle, Conway played in "Taxi" with our little Danza so many moons ago!

Take that!!

School Vacation Week Almost Over

It has been a pretty good week. I've managed to keep myself busy. Take note of the hiatus from the blog world.

I love April vacation. I just absolutely love it. My favorite part about it is the fact that, for the most part, the weather is tolerable and I'm highly motivated to spend time outside, walking around or just hanging out. We've had a couple of really beautiful days this week, too. The perfect week for April vacation.

I've managed to get some shopping done. I am pretty desperate for Spring clothes. I found some great buys at H&M.



I've been very pleased to see the arrival of H&M stores to the United States. They've been here for a couple of years now. When I lived in Germany, I bought clothing exclusively at H&M. This was not necessarily because they had the nicest clothing available, but rather because they were the only store I could afford. The clothing runs the gamet at that place. There are some very funky, Euro type clothes that NOBODY looks good in. But, if you search long enough, you can come upon some great clothes for work and play. I picked up 3 skirts and 2 shirts for 90 dollars.

Of course, if you're going to shop at H&M, you have to go into it with a positive attitude, plenty of time to spare, and lots and lots of patience. Because the bargains can be so outrageous at H&M, the lines to the fitting rooms are miles and miles long. Then, the lines at the cash register are even longer. When I went to the one in downtown Boston this week, I waited for over 20 minutes to get to the fitting room, and then for another 25 or 30 minutes to pay at the registers. I found another cute skirt on the way out of the fitting room, and since I could not be bothered to wait again to try it on, I just bought it. Of course, it looks terrible, so I have to bring it back. I am on my way out to do that now.

Anyway, back to the whole April vacation thing...

April vacation beats all the others. Again, the weather is nice and the sun is shining bright and early, which motivates me to get out of bed early to get a good start on the day.

I loved going for coffee at 8 or 9 in the morning, and seeing all the other customers, dressed in their work clothes, waiting for their morning cup o' joe. It is always entertaining to hear these people complain about it being so early. Jesus. Normally by that time of the morning, I've already put out abouto 5 fires in my 7th grade homeroom, and taught an entire geography lesson.

I love being out at around noon and seeing all the people walking around and enjoying their lunch breaks. Is this how real people really live? I mean, I get a 25 minute lunch period every day, but by the time I've helped somebody find their lost lunch tickets, fielded a parent phone call or two, and quelled a food riot in the cafeteria, I have about 6 seconds to eat my lunch. Going out in the sunlight during the middle of the day would never even be a possibility for me.

I just love being free as a bird during the day to see how real people live. I know that sounds kind of silly, but teaching is such a strange job! Sure, I'm out earlier than any of the people I see enjoying outdoor lunch breaks, but still....I feel like I'm held captive in my school building all day. And if you could see my school, you'd understand my likening it to a prison.

Anyway, this week I have taken advantage of going to the gym during the day. My favorite instructor, Maria, who only teaches during the week, was my new best friend this week. I took every single one of her classes this week. It was awesome! I am still stuck going this evening instead of today, though, as the Friday daytime schedule is crap. But that's fine.

I was at the laundry mat this morning at 7 sharp.

I took care of my busted computer printer. Caught up on emails and phone calls. Had a relaxing time.

I was meant to be arriving in NYC right about this hour, but my friend has conjunctivitis and was not able to travel. No worries. I'll just enjoy another weekend in Boston.

Busy Weekend!

Lauren did it! She managed to have a great surprise party for Reesie. And the best part is that it actually WAS a surprise to Reesie. When Reesie entered into the back yard, the wheels were obviously spinning overtime. Why all the food? Why all the family and friends? Why was everybody hiding in the corner waiting to scream, "Surprise!"?

I think the photo speaks to the fact that Reesie was legitimately taken aback by the festivities planned in her honor and unbeknownst to her. Reesie deserved a great bash. She's always putting herself out for everybody else and outdoing herself to make sure that everybody else's needs are met. Reesie surely deserved to have a fun day dedicated entirely to her.

One of my favorite moments of the party was Reesie's actual arrival. We spent so much time prompting Al to scream, "Surprise, Reesie!" that she started screaming it at the top of her lungs at the mere mention of Reesie's pending arrival. The only problem was, of course, that we didn't want her screaming it as Reesie walked up to the door. We had to contain our excitement until such time as she actually physically opened the gate and crossed the threshold. I had to take it upon myself to make a game of hiding behind the chair and jumping out to surprise Reesie. I love the above picture. Notice Al in the lower left hand corner of the frame. She was not going to waste a single second in getting to Reesie to welcome her to her own party!



Here is a picture of the girls partying it up. You see Julie, yours truly and Reesie. The only shocking thing about this photo is that only reesie is holding a beer. I'm sure Julie and I had booze, too, but it was just on the table in the background.




Here is a lovely shot of Sweet Caroline enjoying the party. I just have to go on record as saying that Caroline is getting so FREAKIN' cute. Of course she has always been cute. She's a baby; that's her job. But seriously, this little bugger is getting cuter and cuter with each passing second. I seriously cannot take how cute she is!

As if she understood just how adorable she is, here she is, peeking at Auntie from the carriage with a big grin on her face!



And just to continue both the busy weekend and the cute Caroline threads, here is a picture of Easter Bunny Caroline on Easter Sunday. As I said, this kid could not get any cuter!!!!!




Today was marathon Monday. I know Lauren posted that she hates Marathon Monday. I have to understand, I don't understand what would make a person put themselves through the agony, but I have a tremendous amount of respect for the runners. Stephen took the day off. We took an extremely long walk this morning, and then came back to enjoy the view of the Marathon from his living room window. His 6th floor window looks right out over the race course. We get to go out there, cheer on the runners, and warm up in his place and/or use his nice, clean bathroom. What could be better? It is always fun. The guy pictured above just gained his US citizenship recently and was trying his darndest to win the marathon for the US, but he came in second, to a Kenyan runner. It is cool, though, because we saw all the elite runners pass, as well as the seemingly endless parade of "non-elite" runners.

Even though my bus route was altered and I had to walk 1.5 miles to get the bus to head back to Cambridge, I have to say that I just can't begrudge the Boston Marathon.

As an aside, the guy who won the marathon, a Kenyan, is 6'2" and weighs in at 134 pounds. I just want the record to show that I weighed 134 pounds at birth.

I cheated...and I'm not ashamed to admit it!

In the spirit of Easter, Lauren threw down yet another Danza challenge. Far be it from me to cast aside such a challenge.

I was asked to link our favorite religous leader, Reverand Aldern, to the fantabulous Tony Danza.

Now, here's where the cheating came in. I had to look u p Aldern on IMDB because I had no idea what the actor's name even was, let alone what other roles he's played.

Turns out, his name is Dabbs Greer.

Greer played in the film, Pacific Heights, with the fantastic Michael Keaton. (He apparently played, "Mr. Thayer." I have seen this film numerous times, but have no recollection of his playing in it, or of the character he played.)



Keaton, was, of course, in Batman Returns with Danny DeVito.



And, of course, we need not belabor the point that Devito and Danza played together in Taxi.

Top Ten People/Companies Giving Reesie Birthday Shout-Outs Toady.

That's right, folks. Today is Reesie's 30th birthday. Our little Reesie is a woman now! Anyway, there are some people and companies out there who would like to give Reesie a big warm shout-out today, partly to celebrate her birthday, and partly to thank her for her unwavering support over the years.




10. The Budweiser Company. This company would have appeared higher on the list, but since Reesie has only been able to (legally) purchase their goods for 9 years, they felt she has to work a little harder for their congrats. Just a few more years, Reesie....

9. The entire cast and crew of "Little House." Reesie's blog has created a whole new generation of Little House fans, thus providing Victor French with a series of bulky royalty checks that he can blow in seedy strip joints.

8. The cast and crew of The Gilmore Girls. Without her continued advocating of the show, most people would have turned their backs on the unintelligible Rory. They also thank Reesie for her offers to drop everything to rush to the aid of the show's writers. They should consider her offer!

7. Q.C., for being the bestest party organizer ever...even though she did put the hot plates on the dining room table!

6. The good folks at Malibu. When Reesie's had a particularly tough bout of watching Bucky on American Idol, she turns to this lovely beverage for comfort.

5. Tony Danza. Reesie has also brought some publicity to his floundering show with her recent blog entry. Although the entry depicts Danza making a complete ass of himself, it is still more publicity than Danza has received in the past several years.

4. The entire fan-base of Reesie's blog. What else would keep us entertained and up-to-date on the things that REALLY matter in this world?

3. Al and Caroline, definitely your two biggest (albeit littlest) fans!

2. The Boston Red Sox, for keeping the faith alive!

1. David Letterman. Because your birthday just so happens to fall on the same day, everybody remembers Dave's too!

Lenny and Leslie Split a Cab

First things first.

"Donald Trump Show" episode number one. Lenny gets the sack.



The teams were charged with redesigning a room at a Boys and Girls Club. Both teams were, to borrow a Trump expression, disasters. Neither room looked really great. In the end, Gold rush, headed by Lenny, lost the task. But that hardly means that team Synergy had an easy time of pulling the task off. Michael was proven, through his own stupidity and failure to get things off the ground, to be a completely ineffective leader.

Lenny was a mess. He sat there in utter silence during his meeting with his corporate sponsors, and the music room he designed was way too one-dimensional. This alone might not have been enough to get Lenny fired, but I would be remiss if I did not mention the fact that Lenny was rarely present to oversee the actual execution of the task, opting instead to take a joyride through the city with Lee.

It starts getting pretty pathetic when one of the strongest team players is Tarek. But, in fairness, I have to hand it to Tarek; he was definitely putting his back into the task and trying his hardest to meet the deadline. The girls were helpful, too. Lee both surprised and annoyed me by adopting the position of Lenny's main wing man. What the hell was that all about? He made himself look like an idiot when he told Trump he would have fired Charmaine over Lenny. Again, it must be pointed out that Charmaine was actually working while Lenny was doing nothing. Charmaine isn't the brightest bulb on the branch, but she did far more than Lenny in this task.

As my watch neared the 10:00 hour, it became obvious that the preliminary boardroom was going to be all Trump needed. He fired Lenny on the spot. No need to dick around with further conversation.

I was glad to see Lenny go. He did provide for some good comedy, but his continued presence on the show was unmerited at best. He was sarcastic and rude and didn't believe that he had any obligation to participate in any form of team work. Whenever something failed, he was always looking to pin the blame on somebody else.

I did get a few chuckles out of how rude and abrasive he was in the boardroom, particularly toward Bill. I liked when Bill began to question Lenny on his horrible presentation, and then eventually commented that the presentation really didn't factor as a main reason for the team's loss. To this, Lenny waved his arm toward Bill in a most dismissive fashion and quipped, "Exactly...so why do you keep bringing it up?"

Bill's eyebrow went up at that one, but no further ado was made. Trump proceeded with the business of terminating Lenny.

Onto episode #2.

Bye bye Leslie.



In this episode, teams had to come up with a promotion for the new 7-11 pizz-etta sandwich.

Can I just say that this thing was disgusing? A nasty sandwich pressed between two pieces of over-processed, flavorless, rubber pizza? Yummie.



The main issue at hand was the fact that Leslie overpriced this item by a mile. She wanted 7.99 for one and 8.99 for both. Of course, she was giving away a cooler with the sandwich, but still...people go to 7-11 for the cheapies. This is not freakin' Tavern on the Green, here.

Andrea was the leader for the Gold Rush team. Although I hate the bitch, and I secretly wanted her team to win so that my season pick, Roxanne, would be safe, I would LOVE to see her fail and get canned. She decided to give a hat away with the purchase of the sandwich. Carolyn complained that the hat and the sandwich had no obvious "theme" or connection. I contend that if the teams were looking for something to "go with" the sandwich, they might have thought about giving away a bottle of TUMS with the thing.

Yuck!

Leslie tried to get Lee canned on the grounds that he had left the team high and dry during fever-pitch selling time in order to pursue a deal that ultimately fell through.

In the end, Trump didn't buy it. Leslie was asleep at the wheel for this one and he called her out on the carpet for her piss poor price point decision.

Too bad. I liked Leslie. At least, I liked her better than Lee. That guy is starting to irritate me.

Phil Keoghan to Danza...One Step, Twice over.

So, Reesie decided that another "Six Degrees of Tony Danza" Throw-down was in order and she challenged me to find a connection between my secret lover, Phil Keoghan, of "The Amazing Race" and the overrated-nobody Tony Danza.

I have to admit, I cheated. I know Phil is from New Zealand, and I am unfamiliar with anything he's done outside of the Amazing Race. I checked IMDB to see if there were any other films he's been in, or any stars with whom he's otherwise collaborated.

I swear I was only going to look for one miserable connection to get me going. Then I was going to do the rest all on my own.

Imagine my shock when I scrolled down through the titles of Phil's "Phil-mography" only to discover that the very first thing in which he is listed as starring is "The Tony Danza Show." He has appeared on the "Extrava-danza" not once, but twice. The first appearance took place on 9 March, 2005 and the second was just recently, on 28 February 2006.

Now here's the REAL challenge...

I defy you to find a picture of Phil on the Danza show. I have been looking for what seems like hours. I should be ashamed to admit that, but I'm not.


This was a great picture of Danza for this posting..not only because it features Danza with out hero, Donald Trump" on the very same night that "The Donald Trump Show" airs, but because the "You're Fired" t-shirt is just too perfect.

In my recent readings on Danza, I've learned that it is pretty much signed and sealed fact that Danza's show will not return for another season.

Thank God for small miracles!

Six Degrees of Tony Danza

I am honestly surprised that Lauren has not blogged about this. I think the concept of "Six Degrees of Tony Danza" needs to be brought to the public, so I'm picking up the torch and undertaking the task of informing you myself. Although, that said, please remember that right from the very beginning, I gave Lauren credit for this and heretofore promise to cede any and all royalties which may result from her marvelous concept.

A brief background..

It all started when Lauren was watching a little daytime television. You'd be surprised, I think, to know that although through the week she is a stay at home mom, Lauren rarely has time to watch anything on TV at all. Well, other moms would not be surprised, but people without kids always think being a stay at home mom is so easy. Anyway, that's a discussion for another day.

She was watching TV and she was incredulous at the fact that Tony Danza has his own talk show. Yes, it is true. This atrocity has been inflicted on the viewing public for a couple of years now, I think. The only time I saw it, Danza had some skateboard champs on the show, and when he attempted to ride along with them during one segment of the show, he fell off the thing and landed right on his ass. You could tell he was a. pissed, b. in pain, c. embarrassed as hell and, d. dying for the show to end. Come to think of it, I was also dying for the show to end. I would have changed the channel, but I was too amused by Danza's humiliation to do anything of the like.

Anyway, Lauren continued to ponder Danza and his lackluster career long after seeing the show. She began to ask herself, "Hmm..what else has Danza been in, in the years between Taxi and this hideous show?" She was surprised at just how many films and shows Danza has been in. She actually even adapted the popular, "Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon" game to "Six Degrees of Tony Danza."

She has been laying down Danza challenges for me over the past few weeks, but normally I flounder under the pressure. I realize, normally, that after going through about 67 actors and 134 movies and shows that I'm just not going to get there. I can usually fudge my way through a round of "Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon" because that dude's been in "Apollo 13" with Tom Hanks, and what the hell has Tom Hanks NOT been in? If you can get the original actor back to Hanks within a couple of degrees of separation, you're all set.

The Danza thing isn't so easy, considering his trainwreck of a career.

Anyway, on Reesie's Apprentice Fantasy Game board last week, Lauren threw down the "Six Degrees of Tony Danza" gauntlet and challenged us to link Tarek, of this season's "Donald Trump Show", to Tony Danza. I did it..and rather easily...and I posted my findings on the App-Reese-tice message board, but I have received no props or shout-outs. I expect this to be fully rectified with abundant shout-outs and props right here on my blog!

OK...so here goes the lineage...

1. Tarek is on the "Donald Trump Show" with Trump, himself.



2. Trump was married to Ivana Trump..



3. Ivana Trump appeared in "The First Wives Club" with Bette Middler. (Because I HATE Middler, I will not be placing a picture of her here..)



4. Middler was in "Ruthless People" with Danny deVito



5. And, of course, DeVito and Danza played together in the popular hit series, "Taxi."

There, bitches. Five steps!

And yes, marriages do count in this game, because, as I said, with Danza's limited career, you really have to stretch to get there sometimes!!

Sorry Juanita.....

I've neglected my Friday night beer pic posting duties again. Maybe I need to call it the "weekend beer pic" instead, to alleviate some of the pressure to have to get it done by Friday. Come on, Fridays are spent drinking beer, not posting pictures of beer!



Anyway....last night, Gene and I went to the Druid in Cambridge. The beers in there aren't really my favorites, but they do keep a small stash of Tiger beer, which is very light and refreshing. I had three of those last night, as well as a burger the size of my head. Hey, keep your shirts on, I did my two classes at the gym first!

The conundrum we face, week after week, is whether we should go to Bukowskis, which serves fabulous beers of all sorts, including my favorite Czechevar, but has crappy food, or whether we should go to the Druid, which has a crappy beer selection, but amazing food. Usually, on any given night, I'll take Bukowskis, but on Friday nights, after my workout, I'm too starving to screw around with crappy food, so we go straight to the Druid.

If you ever crave a good burger, waste no time in getting your ass to the Druid. They also make fantastic chicken salad, which I'm not usually a great admirer of. I can't vouch for the rest of the menu, but everything looks fantastic, from the basic green salad to the Guinness beef stew! I have to work my way through that menu. I'm sure I'll have no problems.

I REALLY just don't need to see this!

I realize that I bring it upon myself to a certain extent. I belong to an all-women's gym in Cambridge. I'm practically asking for it.

I was leaving the place today, after having finished my step classes, with little on my mind but the beers Gene and I would soon be imbibing, when I saw the scene I will now describe.

There were two women sitting there, on these little chairs set up in a not-so-remote recess of the locker room (right in the entranceway for all to see, actually) and one of them had her ample breast exposed for the world to see because that is where she chose to express her breast milk.

I'm sorry. I know it is natural. I know this woman does not have anything I have not seen before, but still...does she HAVE to pump breast milk in the gym? I mean, really HAVE to? There are some little private rooms with locking doors? Could she maybe have gone in there? I don't know. Its just a thought. Am I being a prude? I don't know.

I don't have kids. Maybe I should reserve judgement.

I mean, I have no qualms with seeing women nurse their kids. OK, maybe I start having a few qualms when the kid in question is 15 (another typical site here in Cambridge), but do I really need to see the whole pumping thing going on?

Tell me if I'm wrong.

The Amazing Phil...er....Race..Yeah, the Amazig Race

Dear Diary,

I think I'm falling in love with a man other than my husband, Jon Bon Jovi. The new object of my affections and desires is Phil, the host of the Amazing Race. Of course, I would never leave my husband, JBJ, for he adores me too much and straying with another man would only cause him intolerable grief and heartache, but still, I can enjoy a little eye candy in the form of the gorgeous, sexy Phil once a week.




While my husband, Jon Bon Jovi, is out touring, earning millions to keep me happy, I can while away the hours with my fantasies of Phil. Of course, poor Phil is in a tremendous amount of pain, too, because although we are incredibly attracted to one another, I obviously cannot act on my feelings for him.

It is so difficult to juggle all my admirers without hurting any of them. My life is so difficult!

I was tempted to join Phil in this week's taping of the Amazing Race. He was filming in Sicily, so the setting would have been incredibly romantic.



But I was a good girl, instead. I stayed home and watched from the comfort and safety of my living room sofa. Although, you could see the sadness in Phil's eyes throughout the show. He was obviously lamenting being there alone and having nobody to share the romantic setting with.

Seriously, though. I have been enjoying the show. The hippies, BJ and Tyler, are the best. Ray and Yolanda seem cool. Barry and Fran, the old bags, seem incredibly irritating. The "Barbie and Ken" couple are sort of a boring non-presence. The two "frat boys" are idiots. I absolutely love it when Phil gives them looks of complete disdain when they show up on the mat at the end of the race. He clearly has no use for them and I love that he makes no attempt to hide that fact.

I have to give the "most annoying couple" award to Lake and Michelle. These two country bumpkin backway hicks are driving me freakin' nuts. If I had a remote control I'd turn the volume down everytime they came on the screen. The guy, Lake, is soooooo mean to his wife, regularly telling her to shut up and calling her useless. He is an asshole. I feel like taking the liberty of filing for a divorce for that woman. But the fact that she seems to enjoy it and spends her entire time trying to pacify him and apologizing to him for problems he caused is indicitave, perhaps, of just how and why this relationship works. I'd rather become an old cat lady than have to put up with that shit!




Below are Dave and Lori, the self proclaimed nerds. They were nice, too. Sadly, they lost this week, leaving us to deal with the frat boys and Lake and Michelle for at least one more episode. Damn!

Bryce takes the Yahoo Hot-Jobs Cab Ride of Shame

Aufwiedersehen, Bryce.

The task this week, write a jingle for Arby's all natural chicken breast, was difficult. I say this because I think most of us can figure out how to make phone calls, arrange seating and greet customers, such as most of "The Donald Trump Show" tasks require. This jingle, thing, however, is a whole different ball of wax.

You've got to be really creative and, hopefully, have at least one person on the team who knows something about music. Or, at the very least, one person who is not competely tone deaf. I don't think I could pull off the task of writing a catchy little tune about Arby's "all natural" chicken breast...or anything else for that matter. Although, if I were even remotely excited about a product, perhaps I might become more invested in the task.

But Arby's?



Christ, that place is a dump!!

Anyway, Bryce took over as project manager. Much to my surprise, he convened a little meeting of his team to discuss the issue of tensions between teammates and the importance of casting those tensions aside in order to stay focused and procure a win.

Anyway, both teams worked away with minimal drama and tension. The only thing that seemed to plague Bryce's team was Lenny's complete lack of participation. He claimed to have no knowledge of what a jingle is. Reesie's husband, the gorgeous Bill Rancic, called Lenny out on this point, citing the fact that Lenny has made his home in the United States for the past 14 years and "surely must have heard a jingle or two in that time." Way to dig down to the truth, Bill! Lenny further leaned on his crutch of limited English to justify his lack of participation, claiming that he is unable to rhyme in English. I actually have to add, as an aside, that through personal experience, I don't care how good you get with a second language, rhyming is a really difficult skill to master in a foreign tongue.

Anyway, I digress.

Lee was on hiatus again, this time to observe Yom Kipur. I understand that this is probably the most serious of the Jewish holidays, so although it sucked for his team, his absence is perfectly justifiable.

In the end, the only discernable difference in the two jingles was that Bryce et. al., failed to mention that Arby's is the only dump at which one can consume this disgusting, supposedly all natural chicken concoction, whereas the other team did make mention of this fact. On those grounds, Bryce and the gang bought themselves a ticket on the express train to the boardroom.

In the boardroom, Bryce made a couple of massive mistakes.

1. He brought Lee into the boardroom. If Bryce is such an established business world denizen, he should know that you NEVER attack a person for their religious practices, even if you do feel, deep down, that the person is trying to take the easy way out. What ever happened to the notion of P.C.? Isn't that still "a la mode" in the business world? Trump didn't like the fact that Lenny was brought in for having observed the Jewish holiday. Bryce should have remembered that Trump had a go at Lenny a few weeks for being critical of Dan and Lee when they observed anothew Jewish holiday and didn't partake of the task. Even back then, Trump advocated for their right to practice their religion as they saw fit, and even heralded his own assistant, George's decision to remove himself from his work obligations for the day in order to observe the holiday. Even Lenny, who had badmouthed the Dan and Lee on the last holiday, learned to keep his mouth shut, saying nothing this time around. I can't believe Bryce didn't keep that in mind as he pulled Lee into the boardroom.

2. Bryce truely lived up to his name (read past comments about my feelings about people named Bryce) by being flippant and sarcastic with Trump. He kept cutting Trump off and speaking loudly over him. Not a good idea. Actually, at one point, Donald asked, "Bryce, are you saying that I should fire Lee for taking a Jewish holiday?" At this point, Bryce put his full grimmace on and in a tone oozing with sarcasm replied, "Yeah, right, Mr. Trump. That's EXACTLY what I think." Damn, bitch. You better watch how you speak to the Donald!

However, I don't think Trump was all in the right here, either. Even Trump can make mistakes.

1. I was very surprised that Trump kept insisting that the women and Tarek should have been in the room. Even though their jingle did not win, had it not been for them, no jingle would have even been forthcoming.

2. Lenny should have been canned. His survival of that boardroom will send the message that all you need to do is feign lack of comprehension of the task, and you'll not be held accountable for the failture. I just don't get how Trump was trying to go gunning for the only people who, as far as I can tell, actually did any work.

Anyway, I earned enough points in Reesie's game to hoist myself into 3rd place. Fingers crossed that I picked wisely for next week's episode.

Now, off to work out and get myself prepped to watch "The Amazing Race" tonight!!

Option Number Three...the Honda Fit

I just wanted to show you all the third in my trilogy of possible new vehicles. This is the all new Honda Fit. It will arrive in Honda showrooms in North America this month. I'm not sure of the date yet. I did some further research on it today. Although the base price is a little higher than the Toyota Yaris, it is equipped with more features on the base model than the Yaris. It has, for example, standard power windows, mirrors and locks, front and side airbags and a bunch of other comfort and safety features that cost extra on the Yaris and Scion. In any event, I think the side airbags are important. In this SUV filled world, we need to be protected in our small cars.

I will take Jules' comment about height under advisement. I have been called many things in my life, but petite is not one of them. I shall have to make sure that the leg room issue does not pose a problem. As for the Scion, I was already seated in one of those, and leg room appeared to be fine.

The funny thing about the Yaris is that, although the outside is much smaller than the Corolla, the interior suppsedly has just a little bit MORE room than the interior of the Corolla. As for the Honda Fit, they keep plugging away at the fact that the interior spacing is amazingly vast, in relation to the exterior appearance.

I shall keep you all posted.

But I did not want to deprive you of the opportunity of seeing the adorable Honda Fit, too!

Bite the Bullet

I have begun to very seriously contemplate buying a car. This is a very big move for me. I have never owned a car before. I think it is about time for me to take the plunge.



Say hello to the newest member of the Toyota family, the Yaris. I have seen these cars many times in Europe. In fact, the Yaris has been Toyota's top seller in Europe for a number of years now. It is adorable and tiny. The Magazine "Car and Driver" has said, in a recent review, that the Yaris pictured here looks like a character from "Finding Nemo."

The Yaris shown here is a liftback model. They do make a 4 door sedan, as well, but I'm not interested. It is probably a great little car, but it looks like a little mini Carolla. I think Carollas are kind of boring. Yes, yes, I know, they are the epitome of reliability, but still...

Carollas just aren't that CUTE. And what's the point of getting a car if it isn't cute?

Stephen and I did go to look at the Yaris, but unfortunately, the liftback model is not yet available. The sedan just literally hit the market last week. The one they had on the sales floor was literally driven away by a buyer when we were there looking.

I had resolved to turn and walk out the door if the liftback was not available, but a very nice, very non-cheesy salesman showed me this little number....



This car is the Scion Xa. Scion is the subdivision of Toyota that has been around for a couple of years. You may have seen the real box car around. That is probably the most recognizable of the Scion trilogy.

Let me know what you think!