Wednesday, January 25, 2006

I caved...I finally watched American Idol. I Have Not Been Missing Much




I'm a little freaked out about something I don't really feel ready to blog about at the minute. I just got some news that I need a little time to digest.

When I left the house today, I had the entire day's worth of crap in my backpack...the school work, the lunch, the gym clothes, the iPod, the shoes (I was wearing boots), and everything else I seem to carry with me every bleedin' place I go.

I ended up blowing off the gym and was, for the first time in ages, home before 8:00 PM. I ended up having a nice salad for dinner and, when that was finished, I decided to blow off my housework in order to vegetate in front of the TV. My vegging out is not typical by most people's definition. My vegging out does not involve mindlessly flipping through 699 cable stations for hours on end. Since I have about three stations and no remote, I pretty much sit back and kind of zone out to whatever happens to be on the screen until I get sick of it. At that point, I get up, turn off the TV, and go to bed to read a bit.

Anyway, there was some "Access Hollywood" show on at 7. Again, I am virtually never home at 7, so this show was unknown to me. It is apparently some pathetic 30 minute celebrity gossip show. And apparently, they are still under the impression that Jennifer and Brad just broke up three seconds ago. The entire show was about these people. And following that show, there was nother half-hour gossip show on where they spent the entire time talking about Angelina Jolie's pregnancy. Jesus, didn't she just find out she was pregnant about a week ago? If the press keeps covering this woman's pregnancy with the same frequency as it is now, this woman's gestation period is going to seem endless. Talk about elephants!

Anyway, they mentioned something about American Idol. As of this evening, I had never seen the show. I didn't even know what station it was on, what day of the week it was on, etc. I only know that it seems to be on for several hours a night for several nights a week.

Anyway, they said it was on tonight, so I decided to flip through the dial, an exceptional effort considering I had to get my ass off the couch to do so, and found the show.

My God...these people are TERRIBLE!!!!

I don't know who's worse, the contestants of the judges.

Let me give an overview of my first impressions of the show...

Simon: This guy is kind of funny, but I can see where everybody calls him a total jerk. He seems hell bent on being as mean as he can to people. And from what I understand, he is normally much, much worse than what I'm seeing tonight.

Paula: Is she just accepting everybody who shows up? Could I go up and try out and get a "yes" from her? She seems like a total pushover. Reesie mentioned something about Abdul's painkiller addiction on her blog. Now that I see these fools she is subjected to on a regular basis, I can entirely understand her chemical dependancy.

Other Guy: If I built a drinking game with a rule of, "Drink every time this guy calls somebody 'DAWG'", I'd be getting my stomach pumped at present.

All of the contestants: They all try to sing these power R&B ballads by people like Mariah, Alicia Keys and Toni Braxton. Why does everybody have to be a black woman with a huge set of lungs? Even the dorky white dudes are trying to be black women with big massive voices! I am at a loss. Isn't it ok to just sing? Apparently not because they are all up there screaming at the top of their lungs. So, so, so, so bad.

Do all the people who win sound like that? Do they even need to bother having this contest over and over again? Aren't these people all trying to be the same thing?

I now know what I'm missing. I will NEVER tune in to this nonsense again.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

I was flipping back and forth between American Idol and Little House, it was the one where Laura wanted everyone to acknowledge that she was a woman even though she was like 12. I was thinking it could be the best of both worlds if Charles Ingalls would audition in front of the AI panel of judges with his fiddle. Simon could make fun of his wig and Randy could call him "Dawg" while Paula could "sleep it off" in the saudie.

Anonymous said...

Hey, is that the one where she puts the hot sauce in the chicken and then rolls around in the mud with Nellie?

Juanita said...

I hope everything is OK. Do people get freaked out by good news? I guess so, I hope so. I've never watched American Idol, but it doesn't sound like I'm missing anything. The premise of the show, that they can create an "American Idol" always seemed pretty plastic and manipulative to me. Manipulating the American Public, with their full knowledge and consent. Hmmmmmmm.

Anonymous said...

The only good part of American Idol Juanita, is the try outs!

Mo said...

Not the best episode to "break in" the show...christ, even Simon walked off! The auditions are a bit weak and tired this time around...but once they get into it and get to the real talent it becomes fun. I've even been to a few of the live shows (no, I'm not kidding). This show is best watched in a group setting, unlike Gilmore Girls where any distraction could allow you to lose an entire page of Rory's script. Keep trying-you might get a kick out of it...