Ladies, PLEASE...a little modesty!

I did not take a photo of people in the locker room at my gym. I found this picture online. Actually, I really didn't even have to tell you that; one glance at this photo should have been enough proof that it was not taken at Healthworks Cambridge. How, you ask? Well, because the women pictured in this locker room are actually wearing some clothing as they lounge around in the locker room. At Healthworks, everybody lets it all hang out all the time, not a bother on them.

When I first joined the gym, I felt a little strange about changing in the open locker room. I used to take my clothes into one of the two or three little closed-in spaces to change. Now, however, after a few years at the gym, and in the interest of speed and efficiency, I just change clothes in the open areas. To be sure, though, I keep my towel wrapped around my upper body as I slide my pants back on. Then I slip my top on keeping the towel in front of myself so as to minimize my exposure time. All of this changing clothes business is executed at breakneck speed and without a minute of unnecessary nude time.

There are women, however, who conduct their entire locker room business completely in the buff. You should see me. Before I even begin the process of getting changed, I make sure I have everything I need right there at the ready so that I won't have to spend a split second searching the premises for my bra, socks or whatever. My fellow gym members, however, feel no need to make haste in getting dressed. Picture it. They come to the locker area and the first order of business for them is to strip down completely. Only after they have shed every last stitch of clothing, do they proceed to open their lockers, search for their clothes, dig their phones out of their bags to see if anybody called while they were working out, retrieve hairbrushes, makeup kits and body lotions, and begin the process of getting ready to leave.

Then they go into the showers. When they come out, rather than keep the towels wrapped around themselves while they get their things together, they shed them immediately upon exiting the showers and proceed to walk around in the buff anew. They brush their hair, clean their ears with Q-tips, package up their sweaty gym clothes, blowdry their hair, talk to friends (which always creeps me out...I just don't need to stand there having a conversation with a naked 60 year-old..or anybody for that matter) and any number of other odds and ends until they finally, mercifully decide to get dressed.

Today I walked into the locker room and a woman was in there, naked as nature, having a full-blown conversation on her cell phone. She was very animated, flailing her arms around, pacing back and forth and occasionally doubling over (yuck!) in laughter. Again, all of this was going on while she was COMPLETELY NUDE.

I wonder if the person on the other end of the line knew she was completely buck naked.

Look, I'm no prude and I understand that nudity is inherent to locker room situations. I just ask that people keep the exposure to a minimum, much like I do. Of course people have to change clothes, and of course that is going to require some skin time, but people, please, freakin cover it up as quickly as you can.

The gym is now at full capacity because of the new year's resolution people. The locker room is jam packed every single time I go in there. I don't mind people bumping into me. But please, if your ass is going to come into contact with me, at least be sure there is, AT A MINIMUM, one layer of cotton between it and me!